Forging On
by Lithane
Summary: Sequel to Redemption's Resolution.  Next Episode in my What Might Have Been season 6.  FINAL CHAPTER!  The morning after for John's POV.  Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the rights to SGA or it's established characters, though I am playing in MGM's sandbox.

**Author's Note:** As my second attempt at writing I'd like to explore several untapped story arcs at one time. Hope you enjoy the concept as much as I do. Also, for those that want to know, after some gentle nudging from my wife, my profile is now up...;-).

**Forging On**

"Colonel Sheppard to the Control Room," Chuck announced over the radio.

"What's up, Chuck?" John responded while still eating breakfast.

"We are receiving a sub-space communication from _Daedalus_ with an eyes-only order for you."

"On my way." John picked up his tray and dropped it at the wash window of the Mess Hall. He could hardly contain his excitement as he made his way to the Central Tower and up to Stargate Operations. John pondered to himself. _That should be Colonel Caldwell, confirming whether or not it is still there and I hope is it. Everything hinges on it._ As he entered the Control Center, Chuck made a laptop interface available to him. Sheppard waited until everyone had gone back to work before opening the communication.

Caldwell was very succinct. "Its still here and intact, the exact coordinates are..."

John breathed a sigh of relief before quickly scribbling the coordinates down and deleting the communication. Now, he needed McKay's help. He didn't want to get Rodney involved in this secret mission he'd been on, knowing how well his friend couldn't keep a secret, but Sheppard didn't know anyone else who knew how to get the next phase accomplished. Mr. Woolsey had already given the thumbs up, but he didn't want a lot of resources dedicated toward it. Resolving that he had little choice now, John worked his way to Rodney's lab. Upon arrival, he found McKay in true form as he chided Zelenka about trying to kill him.

"For the last time, I'm not trying to kill you every chance I get." Radek's temper matched Rodney's, making his Czech accent harder to understand. Sheppard wondered what had happened this time.

"Yeah, yeah." McKay got up off the floor. "Now, how much of the data did we lose?"

"I hate to interrupt," John stated dryly from the door. He really did. He wanted to see just how far this would go.

"Oh, its you. What do you want?" McKay didn't even turn to face him but started working at the terminal where Zelenka stood.

"Actually, I need to talk to you about something."

"Oh, yeah? What about?" McKay continued to type away.

Sensing the need to leave, Radek piped up, "You know, I skipped breakfast. I'm gonna see if they've started lunch yet." He exited to room without waiting for Rodney's reply.

"Wa..wa..wa.." Rodney turned to find Sheppard the only other one in the room. He pouted. "So what is so important that you had to run him off like that? Can't you see that we were in the middle of something?"

"I thought I might be able to catch him in the act as he made another attempt to kill you," John smirked.

"Oh, ha ha, very funny." McKay crossed his arms. "Now, what do you really want?'

_There's no going back now, _John thought to himself. "I'm on a super secret mission, and I need your help to keep it that way."

"I'm Mr. Secretive. What are we keeping secret?"

John rolled his eyes before he answering. "The fact that we need to make contact with Larrin of the Travelers."

"Okay, do you know where they are?" Rodney started to look intrigued.

"No. That's why I need your help." John's smug look firmly in place.

"Ah. So you want me to help you find them and all the while keeping it just between us. Anything else I should know?"

"Not at the moment." John hoped Rodney wouldn't push the subject.

"Okay." Rodney worked his way around to another set of terminals. After a few minutes of mumbling to himself about different ideas, he snapped his fingers. "I got it! We initialize an AGB."

Sheppard looked a bit confused. "AGB?"

"Yeah, an All Gates Bulletin." When John still looked confused, McKay continued. "It's a program used to dial all the stargates at once. SG-1 used it years ago in the Milky Way to wipe out the Replicators."

"Sounds good. What do you need?" Sheppard seemed to be catching up.

"Well, I could comb through the database and see if I can find a Pegasus version of the program, but it would go a whole lot faster if I could get a copy of the original from the SGC."

"Do it, on my authorization. But only use the bare minimum people necessary."

Rodney waved him off. "Pft. No problem. I'll only need to use Bill long enough to get access to the SGC's servers. Give me couple hours."

"Okay, I'll be back with lunch then." John turned to leave.

"Oh, and do tell Zelenka that I don't need him anymore."

John chuckled to himself at the way that sounded as he walked out of the room. If this worked he knew that he'd have to tell the rest of his team but he wasn't quite ready, yet. They would try to talk him out of his plan if they knew. Touching his ear, "Sheppard to Zelenka."

;-)

John walked back into McKay's lab two hours later carrying a couple of trays of food. "How's it going, Rodney?"

Rodney looked up as he smelled the roast beef. From John's vantage point, it seemed as though McKay enjoyed the sensation a couple seconds before he finished what he was working on and turned the screen for him to see. "I'm done. I just need to know what you want to be transmitted."

"Already? That's not bad." He handed Rodney one of the trays only to have it nearly stripped from his hands. "I've thought of a problem, though."

Having stuffed his mouth with an oversized bite, McKay responded. "What's that?"

"Do we really want to broadcast our position to the entire Pegasus galaxy?"

"Hmm. I hadn't thought about that," Rodney admitted.

"Do we have to send a probe through every gate in order to take some readings where they are?" He prodded McKay.

"Not really. We can take some very basic readings, but that's about it. We'd still need to send a probe to see whether on not a certain gate is in space or other harsh environment, surrounded by creatures we've yet to encounter. Things like that."

"What about when you guys brought Atlantis back to Earth and were able to detect that the wormhole you opened was on a Wraith Hive ship?"

"Yeah, we were getting Wraith energy signatures back through the gate. What about it?"

"Do you still have your sensor readings from when you scanned those Traveler ships while trying to rescue me?"

"I see where you're going with this. It will take a bit, but I could write a subroutine to work in conjunction with the AGB that could hunt down the Traveler's specific energy signature coming back from any of the gates when activated.. In theory, I should be able to narrow down the search after the initial dialing. From there, we'd have to just take the chance that the computer detected the right signature coming back from the right gate address."

"Once you've narrowed the search, we'll have to make contact the old fashioned way." John handed Rodney his cup of blue jello. "Call when you have everything ready. I'll have to make preparations to use the Control Room at that time."

"Will do." McKay opened to second cup of jello and started working on another terminal as Sheppard made his way out. It was time to bring Mr. Woolsey up to speed and start making preparations to clear out Stargate Operations of all other personnel. John smiled at the realization that his plan was coming together nicely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **Home sick so you get the benefits. Hope you enjoy it!

;-)

Two days later, McKay hadn't called Sheppard, and it started to irritate him. Whenever John bugged Rodney about it, the physicist grumbled about another hurdle that he'd come across. Having given him the last day in peace with no update, John had had enough and started making his way to McKay's lab.

While in route, the newly appointed Training Officer, Captain Ford, caught up with him. "How's it going, Captain?" John addressed him first. He enjoyed having Aiden around ever since his return from his Wraith enzyme sabbatical.

"As well as can be expected, Sir. Some of the men are still adjusting to life in the 'big city' while being molded to fit into some form of a paramilitary group. Most of these men were farmers and villagers in their previous lives and, although many of them were regimented under Michael's influence, this level of cohesion into one unified body is proving difficult." Aiden seemed a bit troubled.

_Don't worry, my friend. It gets worse from here,_ John grinned and thought to himself. "Have you considered moving the whole troop to the southwest pier and setting up a Pegasus version of boot camp?" John glanced over to his young friend to gauge his reaction.

"I can do that?" Aiden's voice sounded enthusiastic.

"Sure, why not? General O'Neill did say that this was 'uncharted territory.' That essentially means that you get to make it up as you go." Sheppard watched as the wheels in Ford's head started turning.

"What about using other personnel? There's no way I'm gonna pull this off by myself." Aiden's mind already found the first of several obstacles with his CO's idea.

"The way I understood it, and we'll have to confirm it with Mr. Woolsey after a while, is that the base resources and personnel, when available, are yours to use in this venture. You can't pull people from their regular duties, but I'm sure those like Ronon and Teyla would gladly help when and where they can." John had no doubts that he was right about his team members.

"Thank you, Sir. I'll have to look into that further. And you? I haven't seen you much outside of the morning briefings. Dr. McKay either. Are you all okay, Sir?" Ford turned to direction to the conversation.

"We're fine, Captain." John wanted to tell Ford about his secret mission but couldn't let the young captain know at this time.

"Are you sure, Sir? You look a little preoccupied." Aiden was way too observant.

"Yeah. Now, why don't you go see about the logistics of moving the men and getting your boot camp off the ground." John hated putting him off, but knowing Ford's loyalty towards him, he really needed to get Aiden to dwell on his own responsibilities.

"Will do, Sir. And thanks for the idea."

"That's what I'm here for," Sheppard called out as his friend trotted off. John made a mental note that he needed to call to Richard, Ronon, and Teyla about this, just as soon as he got finished prodding Rodney.

Moments later, John entered McKay's lab to see his teammate loose a sigh of relief. "Finally!" Rodney sounded tired.

"You did it?" John asked as he moved to stand across from the good doctor.

"Yes, um. . .ahh, how long have you been there?" Rodney looked up with confusion on his face.

He couldn't resist. "Couple hours, just wanting to see if you could pull it off." Sheppard's eyes betrayed him, and McKay's face changed from confused to annoyed."

"Oh, I see, you're kidding with me again. And you're wanting me to help you with something?" Rodney's voice matched his face.

With his triumphant grin firmly in place John prodded some more, "Well?"

"Well what?

"Did you get you subroutine working or not? It's been two days." John enjoyed pushing his luck with his "genius" friend.

"As I already stated, yes." McKay allowed his annoyance to trail off as he dove into the specifics. "Now, in order to do this, we're, or I'm, gonna have to clear a lot of room in Atlantis's operating memory. We'll need to shut down several programs running in the background in order to free up the necessary RAM. These programs will have to stay down for the duration of the AGB to keep the data from getting corrupted."

John frowned. "How many programs are we talking about?"

"A dozen, maybe two."

"Like?" The Colonel didn't like where this was going.

"Like long range sensors, short range sensors, some of the communication protocols. Thing like that." Rodney's tone had changed to dismissive.

"So, what you're telling me is that we'll be virtually deaf and blind for the duration of the AGB." John definitely didn't like it.

"And dumb, in keeping with your analogy. We won't be able to send out transmissions either."

"Great. I've got to say that I'm not really liking this solution, Rodney."

"Yeah, well, there really isn't much choice. It's either this or not making contact at all." Rodney's irritation returned.

"Well, I guess it's time to get final permission from Mr. Woolsey then. Grab what you need." John turned to leave.

"Actually, I'm gonna need to stay here in order to transfer the program after you've cleared the Control Room."

"Okay, but get your tail up there as quick as you can. I'm sure Mr. Woolsey isn't going to like being deaf, dumb, and blind for a long period of time either. We need to make this as short as possible."

"I know, I know. Just call me when you've cleared the room!" McKay yelled as Sheppard left the lab.

;-)

"You want to do _what_?" Richard clearly felt the same way John did about Rodney's solution.

"According to McKay, there's no other way. In all actuality, though, are we in any danger at the moment, or are we expecting any communications or even expected to communicate back for the next while?" John tried to sound as as convincing as his rebuttal.

"No, but this is clearly using more resources than I originally allotted for you in this secret mission of yours," Woolsey stated calmly, though with an edge of irritation.

"True, but if there was any other way. . . ." John left the rest unsaid.

"Very well." Richard got up from behind his desk, looking a bit disgusted and put out, and made his way across the catwalk into the Control Room. "On my authorization," he started, "clear Stargate Operations."

Everyone in the Control Room dropped what they were doing and turned to face their Expedition Leader. Chuck piped up, "What was that?"

Richard took another step forward to accentuate the point. "You heard me. For the next while, Stargate Operations is to be evacuated of all personnel except for myself, Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay."

Clearly Chuck and Amelia were in the middle of something. John noticed that she glanced his way before addressing Mr. Woolsey. "We're kinda in the middle of a diagnostic at the moment, Sir."

"I know, and sympathize, but you're going to have to stop what you are doing and clear this area. Go take an extended lunch. I'll contact you as soon as you can come back to your duty stations."

With that announcement, the technicians started to clear out. Sheppard watched Richard as he supervised to make sure everyone left without delay.

Once the Control Room itself was clear, John touched his ear. "Okay, Rodney, send your program and let's get this party started." John began to allow his hope to overtake him, that this part of the plan was gonna work. Then, the realization hit: _but probably not on the first try. _Sheppard forced himself to cool down while he waited on McKay's appearance. _This has to work. . . ._


	3. Chapter 3

Stepping out a door of her ship and onto a make shift scaffold deck, Larrin took in the rays of the sun as she surveyed the scene before her. Her people, the Travelers, had settled on this planet in another attempt to allow themselves to grow beyond the walls of the ships that had sheltered them for generations. As much as she hadn't wanted to admit it, Sheppard perceived right. Her people had been on the path to a "slow death." Even with the tragic events of last year, when the stargate exploded on their first colony, taking the lives of several of her people and the Ancestral warship in the blast, her people were adjusting nicely to the stability of a home world. Truth being told, they were stronger, happier, even growing.

"Happy." Larrin smirked as the word escaped her lips. She couldn't honestly recall the last time she felt the fullness of the emotion. Even now, as the spirits of the people lifted, she found herself still weighed down by the responsibilities to herself, to them, and the decisions she'd made concerning her own life. Although she gladly bore them, they left a void where her own happiness should have been.

From her vantage point, she saw children playing in what had become the town square. The term seemed appropriate, given that the four ships that used to house the people of the colony boxed the area in. Each ship had scaffold catwalks, boardwalks and decks similar to the one she stood on that led down to the ground on both sides. The theory held that the ships could lift off without adversely damaging each other or the buildings attached to them, allowing them to defend the colony when necessary. The proposed settlement would eventually spread beyond the perimeter of the ships.

"Commander." Larrin's communication officer pulled her from her reverie.

"Yes, what is it?" It was too early for problems to be arising.

"The gate just activated."

"I'm on my. Has anything come through?" Larrin stepped back inside and made her way through the ship's corridors to the other side.

"No, Commander."

Great. One more problem to deal with. "Are the security teams already in place?"

"Yes, Commander. We are here and holding position."

She stepped out onto a catwalk on the other side her ship and started down the stairs when the security team leader called back. "Commander, the gate just shut down."

Larrin stopped a couple of steps before ground level. "And nothing came through?"

"No, Ma'am."

Larrin's face twisted in confusion. What was going on? "Did we receive any signals?"

The communications officer responded. "No, Commander. Nothing."

She resumed her way down the stairs and toward the field and building near the Stargate. "Very well. See if you can figure out what exactly happened and, security teams, stay in place." Her mind slipped back to the last bad event that included a Stargate. _Not again._

Minutes later, she entered the building that the Travelers had built around the DHD. The stargate itself sat just outside double doors that opened to the defensive positions that the security teams currently occupied. Larrin moved to stand beside the Communications Center. "Report."

"There's nothing to report, Commander. The gate activated. Minutes later, it deactivated. Nothing came through." The comm officer still wore a confused look.

"Since when does a Stargate activate and shutdown for the sake of it?" Larrin couldn't help the rhetorical question. She needed more information than she'd received.

The comm officer sensed her mood. "I'm sorry, Commander. I have nothing more for you." Larrin's lips pulsed. Just before she opened her mouth to demand something, the officer looked back to her, "The gate has just activated again!"

Larrin spun around on her heels and walked to look out the windows of the double doors. _What is going on? _After seeing for herself that nothing physical came through, she turned. "Are we receiving anything this time?"

She walked back to the Comm Center as Sheppard's face lit up on the view screen. "Is anybody there? This is Colonel Sheppard of Atlantis?"

Shock smacked Larrin right across the face. _Sheppard? How did he find us?_ She looked at the comm officer.

Apparently he was already thinking the same thing. "Maybe that's who activated the gate earlier. I don't know how he figured it out, but that's the only explanation I have, Ma'am."

"I say again. This is Colonel Sheppard trying to get a hold of Larrin of the Travelers. Please respond."

Larrin nodded to the communications officer. After opening an audio channel he stated, "This is the Travelers settlement. We hear you."

"Ah, finally. For a moment there I thought we had gotten the wrong address." Even through the video feed, Larrin could see the relief on John was genuine. "I'm actually trying to get a hold of Larrin. Is she about?"

"Let me check. Are you the ones who dialed the gate earlier?" The comm officer asked the question and moved to let his commander at the controls.

John's transmission came through again. "Yes, that was us. It's a long story. Now, is Larrin there?" She noted his persistence.

Two years. _Two years since he was beamed off my ship and now he wants to be persistent. What could he possibly want now?_ _Must be good to go through this much trouble._ Leaning in, she answered his last question. "Sheppard, what do you want?" She wasn't about to show how much she'd missed him.

"Hey, Larrin, it's good to hear your voice. Is your video feed broken? I can't see you."

_Charming._ She turned to the comm officer. "Wait outside." As he left, Larrin touched another button to change her transmission to allow a video feed back through.

"Oh. That's better. It's good to see you as well." She noticed the McKay guy in the background as he rolled his eyes and shook his head at Sheppard's comment.

"Now, what do you want?" She tried to sound impatient with him.

"Actually, I have something to discuss with you."

Now she was starting to get irritated with him. "Okay, what?"

"Well, I really wanted to talk about it in person."

She smiled inside. "Alright, step through we can discuss whatever it is when you get here."

"Oh, I'd love to. Except that you have a penchant for tying me up to get information from me, with and without someone trying to torture me."

She allowed him to she her grin. "What? You don't trust me?"

"I never said that, but our track record does speak volumes."

She tried to look disgusted again. "So what do you propose?"

"That you come visit me this time. You did say that you would 'stay in touch' two years ago." Larrin saw that his smirk was firmly in place.

"Hmm. I'll have to get back to you on that." She turned her look to one of dismissive.

"Look, we have gone to a lot of trouble to get a hold of you so I could present something to you. Our track record aside, we are supposed to be allies. I wouldn't have gone to all this trouble for nothing." She could see the John was getting a little anxious.

She grinned. "Fine. I come through in a few minutes."

"Alright, now we are getting somewhere. We have a new address. I'm sending it to you now."

The console beeped, signaling it had received something. "I've got it."

"Good. I'll make the necessary. . . ." Larrin closed the channel on her end, cutting him off, and walked away from the Communications Center. As she went outside she nodded to the comm officer, who returned to his post inside. Just then the gate shut down.

Making her way back to her ship to prepare, she whispered to herself. "Two years. Well, a least he didn't wait forever." Larrin allowed herself to smile. Wait. What was that? Was that happiness starting to rise within her? Dismissing the sensation, she picked up her pace.


	4. Chapter 4

John waited for Larrin's call in Mr. Woolsey's office, pacing between the doors. She'd said she'd be on her way in a few minutes, and that was nearly an hour ago. He surmised that it didn't matter which galaxy he was in. The man would always wait for the woman.

Richard, while scribing some notes in one of the many files on his desk, started talking to him without looking up. "You know, I never was a father, but if I had to guess, this is what it is like when one of the children is waiting for their date to show up."

Sheppard didn't answer right away. He waited until he'd processed all of what Woolsey said. Feeling a bit insulted that Woolsey compared him to a son that he never had, he stopped pacing to look right at him. "You know, that..." John got cut off by the sound of the stargate registering an incoming wormhole.

"Unscheduled activation," Rodney said over the radio. The technicians still had not been allowed back to their designated duty stations, yet.

John rushed across the catwalk before Richard got out of his chair. When the vortex fully formed, John impatiently asked, "Who is it?"

"We are not receiving an IDC," Rodney answered. "But we are getting a transmission, audio only."

"Let's hear it." Mr. Woolsey now stood behind Sheppard.

"This is Larrin of the Travelers. Are you ready for me?"

"Open a channel." John waited for Rodney to work.

Depressing a button on the Ancient console, Rodney nodded to John.

"Larrin, we're ready when you are. Step on through." John tried to keep his excitement reined in as he quickly made his way down the stairs to the gate.

Moments later, Larrin materialized along with a couple of her security escorts. She looked as good as he could remember. She still wore the same style outfit, or uniform, that she did every other time he'd seen her. He had to admit that it accented her features quite well. Trying not to make it obvious that he was checking her out, he deliberately looked her in the eye. It took her a moment to catch up with him. Was she checking him out as well? Feeling flattered by the notion and seeing a similar grin on her face, John broke the silence. "Larrin, it's been a while."

"Not really." She was toying with him. "Now that I'm here, perhaps you will tell me what it is that have for me."

John smirked at her fake annoyance. "Sure. Why don't we take a walk."

Sheppard watched as she raised an eyebrow at him. He'd missed her facial expressions. "Fine, but my guards get to come along."

Her answer amused him. "No problem. They can shadow us to make sure we both stay on our best behavior." John decided to toy with her.

Larrin rolled her eyes at him and started down the corridor he indicated. "I didn't know we needed chaperones, or I would have brought more."

John laughed to himself. "So, how have you and your people been doing? Obviously you've set up another colony."

The question obviously caught her off guard. After a few steps, she answered, "We are doing well, thanks for asking. Though your stunt with the gate stirred a little bit of concern, especially given last year's events." John could hear the lingering pain in the last few words.

Feeling a bit guilty, John tried to apologize. "Yeah, sorry about that. It was the only way to find you. Despite your comment that you'd keep in touch, I had no idea where to look for you."

"So, what did you do, exactly?" Larrin's curiosity seemed real.

"We dialed all the gates in the Pegasus galaxy at once. Upon activation, we gathered the energy signatures we were getting back from each gate, compared them to yours, and hoped we got lucky." He simplified the whole process, trying not to confuse her.

"And when you found our energy signature, you called us up. Well done." Based on the intrigued smile on her face, the praise appeared authentic.

John nodded to her and steered her out a north side access to walk upon the edge of the city next to the ocean. "Thank you."

"So, why have you gone to all this trouble?" Her expression showed that she'd been stalled enough.

_Well, here we go._ "I've got something I'd like to give you."

"Yeah, you said that already over the video link. What, exactly?"

Sheppard grinned. "A ship."

"What?" Larrin's voice reflected her disbelief, stopping dead in her tracks.

"Seriously. I happen to know where there's a ship, and I'd like to give it to you." John wore a supremely confident smile on his face.

She still didn't believe him as she responded, "You're joking."

"Not at all."

He watched as she tried to recover. "Okay, what kind of ship?"

"Well, you're just gonna have to wait and take a trip with me to find out." He had the upper hand on Larrin—finally—and he knew it.

She gave him a piercing look. "Sheppard, what's the catch?"

"No catch." He raised his hands when she clearly didn't believe him. "There's no catch, honest. But you will need to bring some stuff with us." Sheppard dropped his hands. "And I'd prefer you call me John if we are friends."

"Oh, okay, _John_. What kind of stuff?" She seemed to be expecting 'the other shoe to drop'.

Sheppard chuckled at her latest expression. "Enough parts and equipment to replace a hyperdrive."

She resumed their stroll down the north side of the city, heading toward the north pier. John walked with her and waited for her to comment. She seemed to be taking the time to absorb all of what he said. When she finally did speak, her grin reappeared on her face. "If we do this, I'm going to need to know what kind and size of ship it is so that I bring all the parts necessary."

Sheppard had expected that answer and even rehearsed his response to it. "Well, to make sure that you've got all your bases covered, you'd better bring enough for a very large one, just in case. As far as adapting it goes, you should probably bring. . . .what was her name. . . ." He snapped his fingers a few times. ". . . .Mila, Katana's engineer."

Larrin appeared to be very amused by this point. "You think so, do you?"

"Oh, yeah. I've seen her work first hand on Katana's ship. Trust me, she'll be a big help. As a matter of fact, you could probably ask Katana to bring some of the excess parts you're gonna need on her ship."

"Sure, why not." She seemed to be humoring him, now. "So, John, is this ship on a planet where we can get the parts we need for it safely to it?"

John's face contorted as he really hadn't thought about that. "Well, no it isn't. But we should be able to use a jumper to move the parts from ship to ship."

"Hmm. And when would you like to do this?"

Sheppard let his excitement show. "As soon as possible. Of course, you will need to tell me when that is so I can make arrangements here on my end."

"Oh, of course." He saw right through the fake sincerity she now showed.

"So, would you like to take a trip with me?" John asked, summoning all of his will not to sound like he was pressuring her.

Sheppard watched her decision to relent ripple though her body. "Sure. Give me a few days to work out the details. I'll call you when I have made all the necessary arrangements on my end." Her sarcasm seemed to be in check.

He showed his triumphant smile. "Good. Now, how about we eat some real food for dinner before you go?" Sheppard was already leading the way back into the city.

"Not this time. I've got a lot of work to do to prepare."

"Alright," John hid his disappointment. After all, everything else about this meeting had gone smoothly. "Rain check then." Upon finding the original access they'd exited earlier, he led Larrin and her guards back to the gate and saw them off.

Once they were through the portal, Sheppard made his way up to Woolsey's office to find Richard still writing in the reports on his desk. John didn't wait for him to acknowledge him before he started. "So, these limited resources that I have for this mission. . .do they include the extended use of a jumper?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **Special thanks to Gateworld for the access to the different episode transcripts.

;-)

After a week, Larrin made contact when she had everything ready on her side. She reported that it took longer to scavenge all the parts and equipment necessary from the fleet than she expected. In the end, she went with Sheppard's suggestion to use Katana's ship to transport part some of the goods. They would arrive at Lantia later that day. With all preparations made and under control, Mr. Woolsey and John thought it best to fill in the senior staff in the morning meeting. The Colonel noted that everyone was there—himself, Mr. Woolsey, Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, Carson, Jennifer, Aiden, and his new XO, Major Teldy. Colonel Caldwell also attended as the _Daedalus_ had arrived in a resupply run earlier in the week.

"Thank you for coming." Mr. Woolsey seemed anxious this morning, but Sheppard watched as he tried to hide it behind his professional mask. "This morning's meeting is going to be a little different. I turn it, now, to Colonel Sheppard."

All eyes turned to him. _Here we go._ "As most of you know, by now, Rodney and I have made contact with the Travelers." John paused, allowing time for those who'd heard the rumors to react.

Rodney clearly felt guilty. "Hey, I didn't tell anyone. At least I don't think so."

Carson wanted to see him squirm. "Yes you did. You told me."

"And Dr. Beckett told me," Keller commented from her chair. "Then I passed it on to Aiden and, I believe, Major Teldy and Teyla at girl's poker night." All four agreed with her.

"Yeah, and when Ronon and I were sparring last week, it was a topic that brought more than a little distraction," Ford said with a smile as Ronon glared back at him. Sheppard wondered if Ronon lost that match.

Taking control of the meeting, he continued, "Anyway, as I was saying, we made contact with Larrin last week. What we discussed was my assistance in taking her to the Ancient Warship _Tria_."

Rodney, no surprise, came alive from his chair. "Isn't that the Aurora class ship that's out in the void? You know, the one with the busted hyperdrive so when we rescued the Ancients on board and brought them back to Atlantis, they kicked us out."

"That would be the one."

"What? They didn't go back and repair it after they booted us?" Rodney asked.

John looked toward Caldwell, who answered the physicist. "Apparently not. We found it right where we left it almost three years ago."

McKay's face changed to show that he was thinking. "Hmm. . . ."

Ronon piped up, "Why didn't we go after it sooner?" His question got the backing of most in the room.

Richard seemed compelled to answer. "Because the IOA didn't want to expend an unknown amount of resources on a ship that, for all we know, couldn't be fully repaired. Besides, as Colonel Sheppard has pointed out, we are indirectly responsible for the loss of the Travelers' last Aurora class warship, along with another one of their ships and three thousand souls of the Travelers. They are our ally, and the IOA actually agrees with him on this."

"I'm sorry they lost their ship during those unfortunate events, but the _Tria_ should still be ours." McKay threw in one last complaint and continued to grumble under his breath.

John gave Rodney a look that told him to back off. "Regardless, Larrin and Katana's ships should be here later today. As the schedule would have it, Colonel Caldwell starts his return trip back to the Milky Way later today. I've asked the Colonel, and he has consented, to take Larrin, myself, and a Jumper on, and lead the other ships to the _Tria_. At that time, Larrin and I will disembark, which will start my leave from the SGC for at least a month. It just so happens that I have nearly a half a year's worth of leave accrued, so if the repairs take longer than a month, my leave will extend until they are complete."

Rodney's face changed to that of intrigue. "You should take me along to help with the repairs."

"No, Rodney, you and the rest of the team are needed here. Teldy will be the senior military officer and Mr. Woolsey's second while I'm gone. Teyla will be in charge of our team, with Captain Ford filling the fourth slot until my return." Sheppard waited for any other comments. When none came, he nodded to Mr. Woolsey.

"Very well, with that out of the way, let's talk about the Doctor's next aide mission to M45-G67." John remained quiet for the rest of the meeting, noticing that he received more than one curious glance from around the table. Despite the coming protests, John knew that they could handle whatever came in the next several weeks.

;-)

_Never underestimate the secrecy of the crew of the Daedalus,_ Sheppard thought to himself. In nearly a week and a half, no one on board said a thing about his secret mission, even when the people were relaxing and Larrin wasn't around. John had nearly killed Rodney when he blurted out how jealous he was of her "getting that ship and all" back on Atlantis. Lucky for his friend, Sheppard's other friend, Ronon, quickly silenced him and removed him from the room. Larrin's eyes seemed to laugh at the whole exchange while she merely put a grin on her face. Later that day, before the three ships left Atlantis, John asked Larrin's 2IC and Katana not to reveal anything to her until he got the opportunity, no matter how much earlier they figured it out. That brought another grin from Larrin as she nodded to them, confirming that it was an order.

They did spend most of the travel time talking with one another. The majority of it tended to be surface stuff, like how each of their respective cultures came about. John had even been able to get Larrin authorized to view the "Welcome to the SGC" training videos. They also informally discussed how one people could be more involved with their ally and vice versa, as well personal likes and dislikes. He had all kinds of trouble explaining his love for Ferris Wheels. Today, though, both waited on the Bridge, for they were nearing their destination.

"We should be in range now, Sir." Marks informed Colonel Caldwell.

John watched the bridge crew to see if they'd give anything away. "Very well, drop us out."

Seconds after the ship came out of hyperspace, Marks looked right at Sheppard. "We have a contact, Sir. It's still there."

"Thank you, Major." Sheppard turned to the Colonel in the captain's chair. "If you will please bring it along the starboard side, we will be in the port side 302 bay. Then, on my signal, could you come about and take us right at it?"

Caldwell smiled. "No problem. Helm, make it so."

"Aye, Sir."

With a confident smile, John led Larrin to the port side 302 bay.

;-)

Larrin followed John without any reservations. She'd come—he'd come—they'd come too far to back out now. She watched him as he navigated their way through Caldwell's ship. If ever she needed to know just how much pull he had with his people, his conversation with this ship's commander spoke volumes.

As they entered into the fighter bay where they'd parked his Jumper, Sheppard led her to the entrance of the bay, where the blast doors blocked their view. What he did next nearly took her breath away.

"Bridge, this is Sheppard. Execute Sheppard 001." His demeanor told her that he had everything under control.

"John, what are you doing?" she asked, not sure if she wanted the answer.

"Getting payback," he replied smugly. As if on cue, Larrin felt the tingles that told her a force field just went up beside them, and the blast doors immediately swung open. Her flight instincts kicked in as she tried to duck and cringe away from what should have been explosive decompression. A second later, she realized that John held her and they hadn't moved. She looked up at him to see a smile that told her that is was very pleased with himself. "Gotcha." Larrin allowed her face to flush as she worked from fear, to surprise, to anger. Her expressions didn't seem to faze him as he continued, "Let me see if I can get this right. Bridge, this is Sheppard, come about."

"Why are you doing this?" Larrin asked as she pulled herself from him. His timing seemed dead on as the _Daedalus_ turned to reveal a grand view of the ship they'd come to reclaim.

She watched as John cleared his throat. "You wanted to know what this all about, look out there." She played along as she realized he did his best to quote her. When he restarted his version of her speech to him two years earlier, she realized what they were looking at. "I assume you recognize the technology, it's a Lantean battleship. It's been dormant for three years and I'm gonna help you get it operational again."

Both shock and disbelief nearly took her as she tore her eyes away from the view outside the force field and forced herself to look back at John's face. Standing there, with a triumphant smile, Larrin didn't think he ever looked more delicious. She fought with herself to keep from kissing him on the spot.

Apparently, he read her like a book. Before she could move, he flashed her a knowing smile, put another half step of distance between them, and started heading towards his Jumper. As he walked away, she found herself at an impasse as she tried to take in both sights. John must have sensed she'd been lagging behind when he called out over his shoulder. "You coming?" Turning to follow she felt it again, that thing rising within her. Allowing a heart felt smile reach her face, she quicken her pace to catch up with him.


	6. Chapter 6

Once in the Jumper, Larrin watched John initialize both sides of the cockpit. As she studied him, he motioned to the obvious co-pilot's seat as he sat down in the other side. Taking her seat, she didn't look away from him as he comfortably took a hold of the controls and activated the communication system. "Colonel Caldwell, this is Colonel Sheppard, requesting permission to disembark."

He had already started flying toward to entrance when she heard Caldwell's voice. "Permission granted, Colonel. Enjoy your leave, we'll be back to check on you in a month or so."

"Understood. Thank you, Colonel." As she continued to watch him, she noticed that he didn't have to move the controls much to have them racing out of the bay and starting a slow orbit around the Lantean ship. Once they were clear, the _Daedalus_ opened a hyperspace window and disappeared. "You want to call your ships and let them know it's time to start getting ready to go to work?"

She shook her head to help her focus on the task at hand and realized she had communications on her side as well. Recalling how to use them from her previous warship, Larrin opened up a window on the HUD and called both ships at once. She forced a straight face as they acknowledged the call. "Prepare to start sending our repair crews over so we can assess the extent of the damage." Both accepted the order, and she closed the window.

She was about to go into her appreciation for this gift when John started speaking. "It's called the _Tria_. According to her former captain, she sustained some heavy damage in a fight with two Wraith cruisers. Once the battle was over, they crew found themselves the only ones left in this galaxy, so they attempted to join the rest of their people on my home world, Earth. On this leg of the journey, their hyperdrive gave out, and they decided to continue on as fast as their engines could take them. We were running some tests on an intergalactic gate bridge we'd built when we detected them. We jumped ahead of them, maxed out our engines and made contact with them after they passed us by. Once contact was established, they asked for our assistance in getting the crew back home to Atlantis, which we promptly did. Imagine our surprise when, after all we'd done for them, they kicked us out of the Control Systems and told us that they wanted us out of their city."

Larrin sat in silence, listening to his voice as he told the story and enjoying the view out the Jumper's window. When her mind caught up with the question, she remarked, "That was nice of them."

John continued, clearly enjoying telling her the story. "So, long story short, the Lanteans seized power, the Replicators killed them and took the city as their own, and we—my team and I—came back and wiped them out, taking the city back. And instead of taking Atlantis back out here so they could effect repairs on their broken vessel, they abandoned it without ever looking back." As he finished his story, the small ship set down inside bay one. Turning to face her, she noticed the excitement of a young man in his eyes and voice. "So, you want to take a quick walk around your new ship before the repair crews arrive?"

She couldn't find her voice. His charm had almost completely disarmed her. _Come on, get a hold of yourself._ Larrin nodded quickly when she couldn't make her mouth move.

"Good." He offered a hand to help her out of the seat and could sense by his grip that he'd felt something towards her as well. She held in her disappointment when he let her hand go after she was on her feet. He slowly made his way to the rear door controls and activated it. Once the door touched down on the deck of the bay, he gestured for her to go out. "Ladies first," he said with a boyish smile.

As she stepped out of the Jumper, Larrin noticed that John fell into step with her. When they reached the bay door, he stepped in front to open it so she didn't have to. Still lost for words concerning all this, she simply nodded her thanks. Once in the corridor, Sheppard allowed her to pick the direction she wanted to go. Knowing that only work waited for her in the engineering section, she chose a path that led them to the Bridge. Heading in this direction would give them more time together before the others caught up to them.

John seemed content just to follow her lead in silence, only stepping ahead to open the doors they came across on the journey. As they entered the Bridge, Larrin took several moments to just take in what she saw. With the bridge of her previous Lantean ship being destroyed, she didn't get much of an opportunity to view it's wonders. Now, as she moved to stand by the captain's chair, she closed her eyes and found that tears escaped before she could reign them in. _I can't believe you. You pick now of all times, while he is here watching, to allow your feelings out. _After chiding herself, she willed herself to calm down and straighten up.

Apparently the last few moments were not lost to him as a gentle hand touched her shoulder. "Are you okay?" She noted the sincere concern in his voice.

After breathing deeply and wiping at the wet spots on her eyes and cheeks, Larrin turned to face him, only to find his hazel staring through hers as if to touch that place inside that was bubbling over. She forced a question from her lips, noting how fragile it sounded. "John, why have you done all this?"

"Because we're allies." She recognized the caged response, and the look in his eyes told her that he knew it.

"John." She whispered as she stepped in closer.

"Um." He squirmed like he was also at a loss for words. "Well, you see. Since I've been in the Pegasus Galaxy, I've noticed that no matter the people or culture, there is one rule that seems to be found in them all." Eying him, Larrin guessed that he must have been practicing this line as well. She brought her mind in to focus on his words as he continued. "So I've learned that it is common here to give gifts of admiration and respect to someone that you like or, ah..."

She choked on the word as it came out, "Love?"

Squirming some more, he corrected, "I was gonna say 'care for'." He was eying her now and with a nervous grin he asked, "So how do you like it?"

_That's it._ She couldn't hold back anymore. Before he could step away, Larrin grabbed him by the arm holes of his TAC vest and pulled him into a deep, emotion filled kiss. It was several moments before he wrapped his arms around her to embrace her. _Gotcha,_ she echoed his word back to him in her mind when she realized that she took him by such surprise.

;-)

_Sweet Heaven!_ John exclaimed in his mind. She had caught him off guard when she pulled him to her, but he wasn't complaining. The passion he felt radiating from her lips to his seemed as strong as his own. After what seemed like several minutes later, she pulled back. As she did, John opened his eyes to find her softly looking back. _I can't remember a time where I had to work so hard for the first kiss. _Looking deeper into her eyes, he continued to himself_, But it was all worth it. _A couple seconds later, when he looked down to take in the rest of her facial features, his heart stopped and momentary fear flashed through his eyes. She was wearing that same mischievous grin she did just before she stunned him two years previous. He couldn't help the question that escaped his lips. "You don't have a stunner on you, do you?"

A girlish giggle, something Sheppard was sure she hadn't done in a while, came out as she lightly tapped the weapon holster on her thigh. Remembering the stun setting on the weapon, he started to squirm. Apparently, Larrin was content to watch him stew a bit before she calmed his nerves with another passionate kiss.

After enjoying it for several moments, he felt something rise over the emotions of the moment. _Whoa, John!_ He screamed to himself, _This is not how you want this relationship to go. _She must have sensed the conversation within him as she gently pulled back, even if slowly. Then, she tilted her head to look him in the eyes. "What's wrong?"

He couldn't describe it, but he felt just like he did when he was with his ex-wife, the emotion unmistakable and unforgettable. "Nothing really, it's just..." She didn't push him. John thought for a few moments on how he intended on finishing that statement. He decided to go with the truth, "...I have a record that is rather full since coming to your galaxy, and I don't want you to become just another number on it." He really hoped he hadn't totally destroyed the place where they were at. _We've come too far..._

Larrin read him again, because, instead of letting him go, she squeezed him a little tighter. "So you're saying, if I understand you correctly, that you want to take this—us—slow to see what might happen in the long haul." Her all-knowing gaze and grin covered her face.

Relief surged through his body, starting in his face. "Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. Is that okay with you?" He realized he'd almost been begging with his tone after the words left his mouth. If it fazed her, she did quite the number hiding it.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think it is." Was that relief he saw in her eyes now? Larrin must have known that her eyes were telling as she moved in to embrace him, placing her head on his shoulder.

John finished wrapping his arms around her body and gently placed his chin on the top of her head. The two held each other for a couple of minutes before he broke the silence. "Not that I'm complaining, but your crews are bound to walk in on us sooner or later."

She shifted her head to look into his eyes again. While her eyes said she didn't care, she spoke, "Right. We'd better find them first."

Before she could step away completely, John leaned his head down to brush her lips with his for one final kiss. He wanted to be sure that she knew that he felt exactly the same way she did. After a few seconds, he slowly stepped back and allowed her to step off the captain's chair platform first, falling into step with her as she led the way back to the bays and then to the hyperdrive. _This is gonna be a great month of leave!_


	7. Chapter 7

Larrin watched Mila and the rest of the repair crews as they poured over the _Tria_'s hyperdrive. Mila's initial assessment of the damage hadn't seemed all that bad. They could salvage a large portion of the drive. Mila also noted that the original crew of the _Tria_ probably knew that, they just didn't have the necessary components on board to replace the damaged ones. Now the crews dissembled the hyperdrive piece by piece, looking in detail for the extent of the damage. The salvageable parts were moved to bay three. This would also be the bay where Sheppard dropped off the parts from the Traveler ships with his jumper when necessary. The damaged parts and equipment were taken to bay two where they were either set aside to be discarded or recycled. The process, methodical and slow, seemed to be going fairly well.

As she watched, a form moved from behind and now stood beside her. Larrin didn't have to turn to know that it was John. In fact, over the last three days, he hadn't been too far away, lending a hand by carrying parts to their destination, or initializing and shutting down systems. His doing so helped to facilitate the smoothness in the demolition part of the repairs, freeing up more hands to stay on task. From the corner of her eye she could see the work hadn't fazed him. _How is it that he can still look that good working that hard? _Trying not to become distracted by him, again, she focused her eyes forward. It didn't help.

She did appreciate his sensitivity to her position. Except for the times in the morning before the crews gathered for breakfast and in the evenings after the last meal of the day, John made no attempt to pursue their relationship. Even within those allotted times, he kept a close eye out. Though he stayed vigilant, she could tell Katana and a few others had already started seeing something. Whenever he was around, they'd sneak in a toothy grin glance in Larrin and John's direction, just as they were doing right now. _Darn it!_

Before she could be taken in the embarrassment of the moment, Sheppard came to her rescue, loud enough for everyone to hear. "So, Boss, are we gonna be able to take lunch today?"

Playing along, Larrin blurted out, "Alright crews, let's take a break." When most of the the crews had already moved through the exit, she noted that John chose to help take the last piece loosened to the bays. Following behind to "supervise" the two men as they carried the part down the corridors, she allowed herself to take in every movement he made. Apparently she'd lowered her guard a bit too far, for when they had rounded the next corner, another figure slipped in beside her without any notice.

The three were about to enter bay three when Katana broke Larrin from her reverie. "Nice view," she whispered.

Startled, Larrin stopped and looked to her side to find Katana nearly laughing at her. "Where did you come from?" she demanded.

She watched as Katana, smiling the whole time, pointed to the junction behind them. "Over there, where the corridor leads off to the Mess Hall. I thought I might get the opportunity to talk to you about something, but you were so wrapped up in what you were seeing, I had to find out how long it would take you to notice me."

Letting out a long sigh that relieved the last of the startled tension, Larrin turned back the way they'd come and started walking, allowing a small smile for her friend's benefit. "Alright, you caught me. Now what did you want to talk to me about?"

Katana fell into step with her and took the time to assess her friend and leader before she began. "You know, there are more than a few of us who have noticed your attraction to Colonel Sheppard and his toward you."

Feeling more embarrassed by the step, Larrin bit, "Yeah, so?"

"So," Katana emphasized her last word, "you're allowed!"

Confusion crept into embarrassment's territory as she stopped moving. "Excuse me?"

"Commander," Katana made a point to be formal, "just because you are the leader of our people doesn't mean you are not allowed to have the same feelings the rest of us have. As a matter of fact, its a pleasure for us who know you to finally see you showing everyone else that you are, in fact, human."

_Have I really been that bad? _Larrinasked herself. Realizing that she already had the answer, she slowly started walking again. "So, we haven't been keeping it as far under wraps as we thought." She smiled at her friend.

Katana laughed. "No! You have actually shown more of your attractions than the Colonel has since we have been here."

Curiosity crept in now. "Such as?"

"Did you know that when any other of the men pass you by with parts or equipment, you don't even notice them, expect for the value that Mila has put on the item that they are carrying? _Every_ time, without exception, when Sheppard passes by, your body acknowledges his presence, even if its out of the corner of your eye."

Nailed to the wall, Larrin defiantly asked, "So what about Sheppard's actions?"

"Oh, they're there, just not as obvious." Katana smiled, "Of course they don't have to be. He did track you down across the galaxy, convinced you to come on a journey, and gave you the object of your greatest desire." She lifted her arms as if to point to the ship they were standing in, a gesture that wasn't lost on Larrin.

"True." Allowing herself to smile about the whole situation, another query conjured its way out of her. "So, besides me being their Commander, the crews are fine with this? After all, I did bring them along for this personal journey."

"First of all, not everyone has figured it out yet." Katana started. "Secondly, you're not exactly known for having a 'stable' companionship, so for those of us who have figured it out, we find it terribly exciting. Lastly, whether or not he gave it to you directly, we are getting a 'new' Ancient warship out of it. All in all, this is great for all of us."

_I can't argue with any of that, even if I wanted to._ As they neared the Mess Hall, Larrin asked one more question of her friend. "So, besides pointing out how badly Colonel Sheppard and I are covering our tracks, was there a reason for you bringing this up?" Her grin stayed firmly in place.

"Yes. You are our people's leader, but you are also human. Don't be afraid to show it around us. There's more than a few who'd like to see you truly happy." With that, Katana walked into the Mess Hall, leaving her to her thoughts at the door. Feeling the need to be alone to process Katana's revelations, Larrin skipped lunch and, instead, made her way to the Bridge.

After allowing the conversation to sink in, a question started to form within her. _Can I be truly happy with him?_

;-)

John walked down the corridors to the Bridge with a little concern. He hadn't seen Larrin all afternoon and when he asked Katana about her, she told him that the last time she'd seen her was when they talked, just before lunch. When he didn't see her after lunch break, he figured she'd been coordinating something with the Traveler ships and went back to work helping her crews. Now, at the end of the day, the time they set aside for each other, he had to go find her. Remembering how taken with the Bridge she was that first day, it seemed like the best place to begin searching.

Upon opening the door to the Bridge and looking inside, he found Larrin sitting in the captain's chair facing out the window. _What's wrong now?_ Slowly he approached the raised platform watching to she if she'd turn to acknowledge him. When he stepped up and moved stand in front of her, he found her asleep with dried streaks down her face. Instantly he wanted to wake her and find out what happened but as he looked over her form, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He thought about leaving her to sleep there but dismissed the thought when he saw the angle her of neck. So, as gently as he could, he slid his arms around and lifted her. Noticing that she stirred long enough to cuddle into him, he slowly carried her off the Bridge and back to the state room she claimed as hers.

As he carried her through the crew quarters section of the ship, he earned more than a few glances as he passed different crewmen. The one he hoped to see, Katana, stood in front of Larrin's door, apparently trying to find her. When she saw Sheppard carrying her, he watched as her face lit into a genuine smile as well. Needing a witness and a small amount of assistance, he whispered, "Get the door and wait right here with it open 'til I come out."

Katana nodded with her smile in place and waved her hand over the door crystals, opening the door. Noticing how quickly his arms were turning to jello, John forced himself to hold on to her for the final steps he had to take to get to the right side of her bed so her head would end up on one of its pillows. As gently as his failing muscles would let him, he set her down, helped her body stretch out, and, grabbing the throw blanket from off the couch in the room, covered her. Before he left her side, he tenderly brushed a kiss on her forehead and whispered, "Sweet dreams, Sleeping Beauty." Then he made his way out of Larrin's quarters and waved his hand over the door crystals.

Turning to Katana, he found that she still wore the genuine smile. _I am so dead when she wakes up!_ "Thank you."

"My pleasure, Colonel Sheppard."

"So, earlier when we talked, you said that the two of you talked on your way to lunch, right?" Sheppard started down the corridor to the Mess Hall. He needed a public venue to have the coming discussion.

"Yeah, why?" He noted a pondering tone as she kept smiling.

"Well, assuming you were the last one to talk with her today, what did you all talk about?" He had a feeling he'd just asked her to break confidence, but he had to know.

She tilted her head towards him and he saw a mischievous expression come over her. "Are you sure you want to know?" Not sure he'd like what he saw coming, John nodded. "Well, you see, Colonel Sheppard, not all of the crew is as blind as you two would like them to be."

_And they just watched me carry Larrin to her state room._ _I am so dead._


	8. Chapter 8

The door alarm chirped the next morning in the room Sheppard had commandeered. Having been still asleep, he started and looked around for danger. When his mind registered that he still remained in bed, he allowed his body to relax just in time to hear the alarm again. "Just a minute," he called. Sliding into a seated position, he reached for his pants to put them on.

It had been a long night. After putting Larrin to bed, Katana filled him in on her conversation with Larrin earlier in the day. Thanking Katana for her insight, John had walked back to the Bridge, if just to be close to Larrin in spirit. He hadn't paid much attention to the time as he spent the next several hours telling the captain's chair where he'd found her about how he felt like a heel. He also apologized for putting her into such a position of embarrassment and promised that if she didn't want to pursue their relationship any further, though brokenhearted, he'd understand. Once exhaustion started to take over, he apologized again to the chair and made his way to these quarters.

Once his pants were on he looked at his watch. Dread set in as he knew exactly who it waited at his door. He was late! Rushing to make himself halfway presentable, even swallowing a bit of mouth wash, he went to the door and waved his hand over its crystals. There she stood, with no evidence to suggest that she'd cried herself to sleep the night before. In fact, there seemed to be a genuinely happy smile on her face.

"Hi!" Larrin's eyes showed a hint of excitement.

"Good morning." John did his dead level best not to growl. Apparently, she read him like a book again, as she giggled at him.

"Would you like to get some breakfast?" It took Sheppard a moment to register what she had just implied. _Would you like to be seen with me?_

Taken back a little, he scanned the corridor for life and brought out the facts as he knew them. "I thought we were gonna keep this to ourselves?"

"Yeah, well," Larrin started, "I've changed my mind. Is that okay with you?" She appeared to be toying with him and enjoying it.

A classic John Sheppard smirk crossed his face. _This is not what I was expecting this morning._ Realizing that he'd waited a few moments before answering her, his mind came through with a response. "Sure, but I need to get something first." He stepped closer to her and waved the door closed.

"Oh, what's that?" She was looking up at him and her eyes told him that she knew what was coming. Taking that as permission, John leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Seconds later when he pulled back, he discovered that they had fully embraced. When he looked into her eyes, he found no shame. "What?" she asked softly.

"Nothing," he whispered moving his body to lead them to the Mess Hall. Turning herself under his arm, she kept one of hers wrapped around his back. When they started walking, it seemed as though their bodies were one, neither restricting the other. While Sheppard enjoyed the silence as the strolled down the hall, he knew they needed to talk. "So, after my stunt last night, I guess the crew knows about us." Might as well get the hard ball out of the way.

"Yeah, well, some of them knew before we started the journey out here." She didn't sound angry.

"Really? I guess dialing the whole galaxy in order to find you wasn't very subtle." He frowned, trying to look sorry.

Larrin laughed as she responded. "No, not really. But it was quite charming." He looked down at her and found her eyes flirting with him. "Though you didn't have to wait two years."

"Had I known it would have been this well received, I would have done it a long time ago. As it was, I took quite a gamble calling you. Your 'playing hard to get' routine didn't leave much room for me to imagine otherwise." John navigated them around the next corner without looking up.

"So we are both blind to what's in front of us. What are we going to do about that?"

"I'll be the first to admit, I have no idea." John previous marriage seemed to be all the proof he needed there.

"Neither do I, but I guess we are probably going to need some rules." He could hear the inner commander coming out in her voice.

Sheppard smiled and allowed a touch of military bearing to come through his. "Yes, rules. Rule number one: no more hiding to get away from conversations like this one."

When she looked back at him, her eyes had narrowed. Clearly she wasn't happy that he got out the first one. "Fine. Rule number two: no more hiding our affections to one another as long as they don't get in the way of the tasks at hand."

John put a thoughtful grin on his face before responding. "Sounds fair. And to keep us out of trouble—rule number three: any quality time must be spent in a public venue." He left the rest unsaid.

She grinned her mischievous grin. "Ah! Okay, but from here on out—rule number four: all rules must be mutually accepted." Her eyes were playing with his again.

As they turned and entered the Mess Hall, Sheppard saw that it teamed with life and that Larrin made no attempt to move away. Enjoying the turn their relationship just took, John tried to close the topic. "Well, okay then. With these rules in place we should be alright." John lifted his arm off her shoulders, feeling a bit awkward showing this much affection with everyone watching.

Apparently that wasn't what she had in mind as she reached up with her free hand, wrapped it around his neck, and pulled him down into another sweet kiss. After a second of awkwardness, he went with it and wrapped her up as well. When she pulled back, cheers and wolf whistles could be heard throughout the Mess Hall.

;-)

_I hadn't realized how badly I was hampering them._ Larrin smiled at the accomplishment of the last two days. The crew seemed to step it up a notch once she made her relationship with John public. It was almost as if, somehow, the people around her were helping to carry her personal baggage around, which weighed them down, and, in turn, slowed them down. _How did I not notice it sooner?_ Shaking her head at herself, she decided that beating herself up about it wouldn't undo it and looked at the day's results.

They were completely done with tearing out the old hyperdrive internal parts. John and Mila had also done an EVA earlier in the day and had determined that there wasn't much to do on the outside. They could say for certain that the main body of the hyperdrive was fine, the only damage came from what Sheppard called the "Golden BB" that penetrated the hull just beyond the superstructure of the drive. The Wraith burst must have come after the shields in the rear section had failed as it sliced it's way to the internal portion of the drive without losing all of its force. One lucky shot, thankfully the Wraith weren't still around to see the effects of it.

Now she stood in bay three. Starting tomorrow, the crews, under her watchful eye, and Mila's direction, would visually reconstruct the drive here in the bay. This will give Mila the extra space to work out any adaptions needed before constructing it in place in engineering. John had been right about her, Mila was a whiz when it came to hyperdrives. Larrin had known of her work on Katana's ship, but seeing her work in person_...A Rising Star._

Satisfied with what she saw, Larrin touched her communicator. "John, where are you?" She waited several seconds with no response. When she moved to touch her communicator a second time it came to life.

"Yeah, I'm finishing getting cleaned up. Meet you at the Mess Hall." The communicator went dead.

"Very well, I'll see you there." On her way, Larrin allowed herself to think about him, her, and them. John's work ethic hadn't budged from the quality he'd given the first three days, and when they were "off the clock" as he put it, he didn't push their relationship past set boundaries. Their friendship, outside of the affections, appeared to be growing as well. As she rounded the corner to enter the Mess Hall she found an unpleasant thought rising. She scanned the crowd and found him at a table with two servings of the evening meal. Walking up to the table she asked, "May I join you?"

He'd watched her come across the room, but it wasn't until now that his eyes lit up, "I'd say yes, but I'm expecting someone very special." It was all over his face, he was playing with her.

Not batting an eye, she sat down. "Smarty. So," she waited until he was looking at her, "I have the topic tonight."

"Oh yeah, what do you want to talk about tonight?" They had moved passed the surface stuff.

She took a bite, chewed and swallowed, before she presented it. "So what happens when we are done here, and to clarify, what happens to us?"

Sheppard ate a couple more bites before he answered her. "Well, you see, that would be the one aspect of this whole thing that I haven't worked out yet. To be fair, though, who knew we'd get this far?"

"Do we, you, want this to continue once we get back to our respective lives?" She hated the question even as she asked it.

"Well, yes, I do. Do you?" She watched as his face contorted to something in between curious and concerned.

Not liking the way the question made him feel she attempted to disarm it, quickly. "Yes, very much and sorry, that was probably not the best way to phrase to question." She witnessed his face go very stoic. _ Oops!_ "What I meant was..."

John cut her off. "How far are we willing to go to make this work?" His stare seemed like it penetrated both time and space.

"You okay?" Larrin definitely didn't want him hurt with her over the question. She tried to engage his eyes and after a few moments concern reached hers.

Shaking his head as if coming out of a reverie, John put a grin on his face. "So, who's rule was it that there was no running from emotional conversations?"

Larrin tilted her head slightly and said slowly, "Yours." _John, where are you going with this?_

He must have read the question through her eyes when he answered, "Then tomorrow night our topic will be about my failed marriage. It should give us some insight on just how far we want to take this." Seeing the pain as he gave his final comment of the night, she would have given anything to take it all back. Later, when he walked her to her state room, he didn't hold back when he kissed her, but she could sense the difference. Knowing that he wasn't running so much as he needed time to put his thoughts together, with their fingers interlaced, Larrin slowly let him go, if only for the evening.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **The chapter is dedicated to you: those of you brave souls, men and women alike, who serve, or served, in the military, who have loved and lost a spouse, or would-be spouse, because they did not fully understand what they were getting when they got you. If you know someone on Fan Fiction, that would not otherwise read this, that fits this description, please pass on this dedication.

;-)

She had hurt him. Now, in what was supposed to be dead of night, Larrin lay awake in her bed, also hurting. _Why did I have to push so hard?_ The thoughts that kept her from sleeping seemed to combined with the thought that drove the original question: that their relationship wouldn't survive once this little getaway ended. Only five days, plus the time they shared on the _Daedalus _before her and John's relationship fully formed, and already she didn't want to think about her life without him. Her insides churned as tears of sorrow threatened to come streaming out. _I can't take this! _Having gone to bed fully clothed, she got up, left her stateroom, and made her way to John's quarters.

Once at his door, she made an attempt to straighten up and rang the door alarm. After a few moments, when he didn't respond, she rang it again. When he still didn't answer, she waved her hand over the door crystals. The door opened, and she found the lights on, bed turned down, but no one home.

"Where are you, John?" she whispered. She shifted to place her back against the wall and tilted her head. Moments later, she started out of his room, waved his door closed, and headed for the Bridge. Standing outside after several minutes, she took a deep breath. _If he can maintain himself enough to carry me to bed after I cried_ _myself to sleep, I can handle whatever I find behind this door_.

Straightening herself again and taking another breath, Larrin waved her hand over the crystals. As the door opened, she looked inside and saw Sheppard sitting in the captain's chair facing out the window. When he didn't acknowledge her, she slowly made her way to the platform.

;-)

He had heard her come in. He even sensed her at the door before she opened it. And as she approached him, he felt the pain she'd been in. Instead of trying to console her, John started into tomorrow night's topic, keeping his body pointing out the window. "Her name is Nancy, and she was the love of my life." Trying to gauge how that had hit by the timing of her steps, he heard them as they kept the same pace. "We were just out of college: me, the Air Force Academy, and Nancy, Colorado State. We'd seen each other at different parties and found that we shared many of the same friends. Man, was she a sight." John proceeded to go through his ex-wife's physical traits without being too insensitive. As he did, he heard Larrin foot falls stop just off the platform. _Don't quit on me now. I need you._

;-)

When he started speaking without turning around, that hadn't surprised her. However, now that he talked about his ex-wife, and with such passion, shock threatened to overpower her. Upon reaching the platform, she couldn't bring herself to step up beside him for fear that it might prompt him to stop. Larrin really needed to hear this.

;-)

John continued. "We were so happy when we were dating, though you might call it something like courtship. Whenever we got the opportunity to get around each other, we were inseparable. When I wasn't off flying around the world for one reason or another and when she wasn't involved in a high profile case, we could be found spending time doing whatever the other wanted. She even learned to love Ferris wheels and roller-coasters as much as I do. This went on for about two years before we couldn't live without one another and got married." Larrin wasn't moving closer, but she wasn't moving away, either. That had to be something.

;-)

Larrin listened intently to every word, every voice fluctuation, every syllable. His heart seemed as plain to her as the stars of his galaxy out the view port, and she wasn't about to chase it way by moving now.

;-)

"At first, nothing really changed except her last name. She was already my emergency contact and had access to my accounts and power of attorney over me. Life seemed to be going well. Then, my job changed and with it, my responsibilities." John shrugged. "Before, there was some reasonable idea of where I was going and for how long. Now I could be called on anytime to go anywhere for any length of time. The worst thing being that I couldn't even talk to her about it. It was all 'need to know'. My first few missions weren't that bad. As life would have it, though, my next one would take me away from her for six months without any warning or a way for her to get in contact with me. That one hit Nancy hard. When I got home, she let me know just how lonely she'd been and how unfair of me it was to leave like that. Having been a particularly difficult mission, let alone my separation from her, this wasn't the welcome home I needed, and I made the mistake of telling her so. The fight that ensued could be heard several doors down. Although we never laid even a finger on each other, both of us were forever scarred." John made no attempt to hide the pain.

;-)

A tear escaped before Larrin though about catching it. Though the rest of John's body didn't move, when he spoke, the pain he carried inside poured out of him. It was almost overwhelming. Sensing that he needed her there, she willed him to continue. _Go ahead, John. I'm right here._

;-)

John swallowed the chalky taste in the back of his throat. "We eventually made up, but the scars would never completely heal. With each deployment, we slipped further and further away from each other. Looking back now, I'm still not sure what more I could have done to keep us from that fateful day. I had just got a call out and would be gone a long time. Another mission that I couldn't tell her anything about. It must have been predetermined by someone or something because, on that day, she'd been home to hear my end of the conversation. After setting down the phone, I made my way to the front door. When I stopped to pick up my 'go bag', Nancy moved to block my way out and asked me... no, she begged me not to go." At this, Sheppard couldn't help the solitary tears that fell from each eye. He'd been fighting their fall most of the night and lost the battle. "When I told her I had to go, that it was my duty and that I wasn't backing down from it, she gave me a choice. The Air Force or her. From what she has told me since that day, when I didn't even answer her, but stepped around and walked out the door, that's what hurt her the most. She didn't understand it then, though I know she does now. She asked me for the one thing that I am incapable of giving her: first place in my life. When I returned home from that mission, she'd left a note on her pillow telling me she was gone."

;-)

Larrin heard his voice crack when his tears fell. Slowly, she stepped up onto the platform and gently laid her hand on his shoulder.

;-)

"The divorce formalities didn't take too long. We still cared for each other, still do to this day, but we haven't been more than friends since then. After her, women have come and gone in my life, most never staying longer than one night. Although there have been a few hopefuls over the years, none have come close to filling void that Nancy left within me …...until now." John let out a long sigh and felt Larrin's hand move.

;-)

She needed to see his eyes. _I hear what you're saying, but I need to see it._ Larrin moved to stand in front of him and crouched down so that he didn't have to look up at her. The raw anguish in his eyes seemed to lighten a bit when she looked into them. She reached for his hands and let him finish what he needed to say.

;-)

She didn't leave. When she lifted her hand from his shoulder, he thought for sure that he'd run her off. Now she squatted in front of him, holding his hands as she intently read him with wet eyes of her own. John opened his mouth to finish. "I need you to understand. Yes, I do want to see if we have has what it takes to make it, and yes, I am willing to do almost anything to prove it. But you can _never_ ask me to choose between you and my job. Or my team. They are who I am. They are what shape my being. They are the reasons I can take most of what life throws at me and still come out fighting. I am a soldier. And no matter how badly I may want to, I can never give you that number one slot in my life." Sheppard watched her as she processed what he had just said. She closed her eyes as he looked on, and he waited for her response. She had made no attempt to stop him, or interject while he told her about Nancy. John would wait on her.

:-)

Larrin opened her eyes to find his almost pleading with her. Knowing how she would feel if John ever asked her to leave her people, she gave the only answer that would come out. "I know."

Apparently that was all he needed to hear, because in one swift motion, he leaned forward letting go of her hands, wrapped his arms around her, lifted her up onto his lap, and proceeded to hold her close to him. Enjoying the closeness, she placed her hand on his shoulder and allowed her arm to travel down his, tucked her head into his neck, laying on her own hand, and reached around the other side of his neck with her free hand. She sat there in his arms, listening to the controlled sound of his breathing for so long that she thought she might go to sleep. Noticing that he hadn't even stirred, she broke the silence. "You know, not that I'm complaining, but we are in blatant violation of rule number three."

Grins formed on both their faces. John chuckled. "Yeah, but not rule number one." Most of the seriousness was gone from his tone.

Leaning backward to look into his eyes again, Larrin started. "You should know that, by this time in my relationships with most suitors that have fallen for me, I have gotten everything that I wanted from them. In my culture, the women are more in control and I've been so groomed for my position that everything else, everyone else, is a distraction. I have callously thrown away more would-be companions than I want to count, denying myself the pleasures to be found in true companionship because I am a leader first. So our records, while different, are not that dissimilar. You should also know, like you, I do want to see how far we can make it and I am also willing to do almost anything to prove it. But you can't ever ask me to choose between you and my people. They are who I am, as well."

Sheppard had respectfully waited before looking her in the eye. Larrin's heart skipped a beat when he echoed her words. "I know." Leaning in to touch his lips to hers, she felt his passion behind them again. While neither crossed lines, they shared the embrace until time itself didn't matter. When she did come up for air, she found the smile she was so fond of so big on his face that it reached his eyes.

Larrin heard the joking undertone in his voice. "I'd better escort you back to your state room before we get into trouble here." Playfully relenting, she got up off his lap, helped him to his feet, wrapped her arm around him, and allowed him to lead the way back to crew quarters.

;-)

**BTW-** As always, I relish the reviews I get. But for this chapter: If you'd like to leave the review as a word of encouragement for those "real life" John Sheppards (see author's note) out there, I would be honored to receive them. God bless them all...;-) Lithane.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's **Note: I wanted to cover what I perceive to be a taboo subject tastefully, knowing how much time these two would be spending together. In bouncing the whole thing back and forth with ladygris, the finishing touches for the chapter came forth. Hope you enjoy this glance into real life that isn't covered anywhere else in the series.

;-)

John woke with his alarm eager to get his day started. Wanting to surprise Larrin at her door, he rushed through getting ready for the day and changing clothes. _Why did I have to cry in front of her?_ The question had plagued him so much that it invaded his sleep during the night. _Granted, it's not like I sobbed, got red eyed, or turned into a geyser. It was only a couple drops, one out of each eye, but still. . . . I don't cry. Ever._ Once he was ready, he quickly made his way to her stateroom. His plan was foiled when he rounded the corner to enter her hall and nearly ran over her. "Oh, sorry!" He reached out to steady her as she'd been startled.

Watching her as she laughed, Larrin replied, "Going somewhere?"

"Yeah. I was gonna try and surprise you." His tone still reflected his apology.

Her eyes lit up, softly looking into his, "Well, it would seem that you succeeded." Her playful smile reached up as if to grab his heart.

Sheppard allowed himself to relax and go with it. "Yes, I did." Placing a triumphant smile his face, he leaned in to get his morning kiss. After a couple of seconds, he pulled back. "Good morning."

"Uh-huh." She was toying with him again. "So you ready to go to work yet?"

"Can I have breakfast with my lady first?" John pretended to pout.

"I guess, but only if you make it quick. You have a lot of work to do today." While she appeared to be joking, there was a serious undertone in her voice.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, John led the way to the Mess Hall. "So what is this that you are pushing so hard for me to go to work, anyway?"

"There's just a lot to get done..."

John cut her off. "Larrin, my dear, do we really have to make a rule five: no lying to one another.?" He made sure the face matched his playful tone.

"No." A sheepish grin formed on her face.

"So what is it?"

Sheppard watched as she started to squirm. "Well, you see. I want to be extra careful that we don't get out of control today."

"Okay, not that we would, but why?" Now John was genuinely curious.

"Because, well, as you know, having been married before, there are times, on a monthly rotation, that women are normally not the most fun to be around."

"Whoa, whoa! That's far enough." John interjected. He knew all to well about a woman's cycle. "That doesn't mean you have to push me off like that."

"Well. . . .yes it does." Larrin looked up into his eyes. "Remember that we have had, up until about two years ago, very strict population controls in place?"

John nodded. "Right?"

"One of the ways to circumvent that altogether was. . . ." She deliberately left the rest unsaid, and she looked a bit uncomfortable with it.

Feeling a bit uncomfortable himself, Sheppard stated the obvious out load so that they were both on the same page. "So, if what you have been telling me in all our conversations is true, every now and then, this would be the time that you'd find a potential suitor to, um, quiet the urges." She nodded. "And you're feeling them now."

She nodded again to tell him he'd guessed right. As he continued to watch her, he noticed that she seemed to be struggling with herself. It was then that he realized that his arm around her shoulders couldn't be helping matters. When he removed it, with a sheepish grin on his own face, she looked back up in to his eyes and mouthed, "Thank you." Not sure how to proceed, John led the rest of the way in silence.

;-)

Understanding that he needed to help her avoid an unwanted flash of events, at least at this moment, he took her original advice and got to work as soon as possible. When everyone gathered in bay three, Mila, under Larrin's supervision, started handing out assignments to the crews. Most were to coordinate with her as they laid the pieces to the hyperdrive in order on the floor of the bay. When they came across a missing part, Mila would call it out, and Katana would make note of it.

Sheppard, wanting to be close but also knowing what his continued presence must be doing to Larrin, looked at her and started. "It's been nearly a week since I fired it up, and I thought I'd better do a thorough pre-flight on the Jumper before we start running it back and forth." He did his best to be easily read by her.

She must have caught it because she gave him a coy smile. "Go ahead. One of the men from the crew will join you when the first list has been compiled." Larrin also gave him a nod that told him she appreciated his sensitivity.

Not delaying, John went into the Jumper, activated its systems, and tried to get his mind off the problem at hand. "So, how do we make a go of this after we get back to our lives?" John whispered the question from last night that caused the land slide of emotions from the past. All in all, he'd been grateful to have that particular conversation out of the way. But how were they going to handle their separation from each other? Then again, how could they minimize it? His mind, on the verge of an idea, shut down that train of thought as he heard one of the crewmen step on board. "Which ship first?"

"Commander Katana's." The crewmen sat down in the co-pilot's seat as John closed the rear hatch and started the Jumper in that direction. Once Sheppard had landed it in the bay of Katana's vessel, both men exited, and the crewmen started going through and identifying the parts on his list. As he waited, John took the time to survey all the parts in the bay. Judging by what he saw, Larrin had taken him seriously when he said plan for a very large hyperdrive. Just this bay alone had to contain enough parts to rebuild half of the _Tria's_ original drive if they had been Lantean. He would confirm it later, but if Larrin's bay contained this much. . . .

The crewmen started pointing out the parts to go with them on this trip to him, and the men that had joined them to help load. John, with his sleeves already rolled up, began carrying them to his Jumper. The whole process took about fifteen minutes, and they were ready to take the first load over. Both men made their way back with the loaded Jumper and landed. The parts were then pulled off of it one at a time in the order that Mila called for them. This process ensured that John had a lot of time to think inside his little ship as the whole thing repeated a couple of times, going back and forth from both Traveler vessels.

On the last trip of the day, as Sheppard backed the his Jumper out, an idea struck him. Once he got clear of Katana's ship, he stopped, brought his mind into total focus, and started adjust his flight controls so that his little ship started rotating in a circle while keeping the horizontal plane of the Jumper level. He took it up and back, then down and back, then down and forward, and finally up and forward.

"Colonel Sheppard, what are you doing?" asked the crewman.

"Shh, I'm trying to concentrate." John brushed him off before he lost his train of thought. When he'd done the whole thing a couple more times, he smiled. "Oh, yeah!" With that, he resumed his course back to the _Tria_, and landed in bay three. As the crewmen unloaded the parts, Sheppard used the time to think about his next date night with Larrin when all this monthly stuff was behind them. With any luck, he would be able to temporarily convert the Jumper into a Ferris wheel.

Once all the parts were off, he powered down the Jumper and stepped out. John's eyes first went to Larrin. She seemed to be eying him with a smirk he was quite sure he didn't want to pursue, though there was a part of him that did. _You have to be strong, strong for both of you._

Deliberately looking away from her, he took in the rest of the bay. Hyperdrive parts covered nearly the entire floor. And while anyone not part of this repair team would have had a hard time sorting out and maneuvering around and through them, the crews seemed to be at home the in the middle of this mess.

A few minutes later, Larrin called out, "Alright, that's it for the today." Beat from both an intellectually and physically challenging day, the crews gladly accepted the order. When everyone else was gone, Sheppard noticed she waited for him. Tapping down the two pulling forces within him, he slowly made his way to her. "You know, you didn't have to stay away all day." She was complaining.

John trying to be lighthearted about the whole thing. "According to what I got from you, yeah, I did." When she gave him a look that told him she wasn't amused, he continued. "I find that its only natural to want to be with someone you're attracted to. So, in our case, I, we, have taken some preventative steps to keep us from becoming just another notch on the other's belt. Knowing that at this time those natural desires are particularly difficult for you to deal with, I have to do more on my part. Believe me, its taking a toll on me as well." Sheppard tried to close the matter as he led the way back to the Mess Hall.

Larrin fell into step with him. "So what, are we going to hide from each other?" Clearly agitated, she frowned at him.

Taking a moment to get perspective, John realized that her snappiness didn't have any real emotion behind it. Her body's hormones were playing some serious havoc with her mind. He decided that the best answer here would be straight and too the point. Trying to make sure that it didn't sound callous, he started. "No, but until this thing passes, we probably should be more careful, just like you were suggesting earlier." His answer must have sufficed as she remained quiet for the rest of the evening. Upon seeing Larrin to her stateroom after the evening meal, John started going over in his mind how he might turn the Jumper into a carnival ride. _Didn't Carson play with the inertia damper adjustments during that storm the first year we were here?  
_


	11. Chapter 11

Larrin stepped out of her room earlier than usual, starting her journey to John's room. It had been a hard six days, but the impulsive urges had passed. She really needed to spend some time with him, if only to let him know how much she appreciated his discretion over the last several days. Thoughts of their conversations, as well as her words and actions toward him, didn't set well now that she had gotten back to her right mind. _I need to apologize._

To his credit, Sheppard did seem to handle the whole thing pretty well. There had been only one time she thought he might cave in to her desires. Although things had gotten more heated than they should have, at the last moment, before clothes started flying, John had pulled back, apologized, and left her alone in her stateroom. The next morning, under the influence of the hormonal emotions, she chided—no, she scorned him for his part. Larrin had been amazed, and still was, that he took it all without saying a word. _I really need to apologize and try to find a way to make it up to him. _The regret, so thick now as she berated herself, seemed like it pumped through her veins as she got nearer to his room.

Reflecting on the last several days' work, Larrin found that she was proud of Katana, Mila, her repair crews, and John. The visual reconstruction with adaptions nearly completed, Larrin anticipated that they could begin the actual reconstruction within the next day. After another day of shuttling parts, Sheppard's role in this phase had been done. He took his leave for the last few days to work on something with his Jumper. Larrin could only guess that he was doing this so he wouldn't be a constant distraction for her while keeping himself occupied. Whenever she asked him what he was working on, he'd simply smile and say, "It's a surprise." Now that the whole thing had passed, a genuine curiosity was beginning to set in.

As she stepped up to his door she identified how she felt over all. She missed him. His smile, his laugh, his body, his antics, his voice, everything about him down to the core of the man he was, that same core that had kept him at a distance these last few days, she missed it all. She straightened herself and rang the door. Couple of seconds later, the door slid open, and there he stood. While he watched her, with a heartfelt smile on her face, she allowed herself to look him up and down.

"Good morning." His all-knowing smirk covered his face.

Rather than answering him and trying to find the place to begin apologizing, Larrin just stepped forward, wrapped her arms around him, and poured herself into the embrace. He didn't hesitate for even a second before he returned the gesture. The couple held on to each other for at least a minute before she turned her head so she could see his neck and chin. "I've missed you."

"We just saw each other last night." John's tone was playful.

Pulling her head off his chest, she looked directly into his hazel eyes. "Yeah, but it wasn't the same."

He conceded, "No, it wasn't. I take it you're feeling better?" He eyes matched his curious tone.

"Yes," she started, "I am doing much better now." _Come on, John, kiss me. I promise not to bite._

He must have read what she'd been thinking because he leaned down to press his lips to her's, and the passion that came through matched her own for him. It was as if the his kiss was saying, "I've missed you, too." When he pulled back several moments later, the man's face lit with his grin again. "Breakfast?"

She nodded, "Please, I'm starving." Larrin spun under his shoulder, wrapping an arm around the small of his back and allowed him to lead them out of his room toward the Mess Hall. "So when am I gonna see this 'surprise' of yours?"

"Who said it was for you?" He was playing with her again.

_Man, have I missed this. _She tried to pout, but it didn't last as it turned back into a smile. "Well, then, who's it for?"

His eyes and mouth were telling on him again. "You know Katana and Mila, don't you?" Jokingly, she shoved him from away. He played along then came back and dropped his arm around her shoulders again. "Seriously, though, we will need chaperones." His tone carried only the very edge of seriousness.

"Okay, I'll have to see if they have plans when we get done. Later today?" She really did want to see what Sheppard had used to fill his time.

He nodded. "Sounds good. I can't wait." She watched as his face turned mischievous. The couple entered the Mess Hall and ate breakfast while talking about nothing important before heading off to bay three. She could tell, even if he would never say it, he had missed her too.

;-)

"So, where are we going?" Mila asked from one seat behind Sheppard.

He smiled. Larrin had been able to convince her two underlings to coming along. John was grateful. Though very appealing, the last thing he wanted to happen was him and Larrin slip out here where no one else could get to them. While very contrary to his nature, he found that he really did enjoy building their relationship first. Returning to the task at hand, John answered Mila. "Just outside."

Katana spoke up next. "And what's the point of this?"

"You're just gonna have to be patient," John replied with his playful tone. He could see Larrin looking over at him from the corner of his eye. Smiling, he asked, "What?"

"You're having fun." When he stole a glance, after maneuvering the Jumper out of the bay, he saw his favorite smile on her face.

"Yes, I am," John replied smugly. Stamping down the nerves that tried to rise and steal his concentration, John placed the little ship in what he thought was the perfect starting point. Then he turned the sensitivity of the gravity plates up just a touch to simulate Earth's gravity. Next, he turned the inertia dampers almost all the way off so that those on board could feel what was about to happen. "Remember when I was trying to explain what a Ferris wheel was?" He looked directly at Larrin.

"Yeah, we were on the _Daedalus. _Why?"

"Because this is what one feels like." With that, John focused his mind and started to move the Jumper in a circular pattern while maintaining the horizontal plane. He took it up and forward, bringing them so close to the _Tria _that you could almost touch it. Then, in the same motion, he brought the it up and backward, and as the Jumper cleared the top of the _Tria_, a grand view of the Pegasus galaxy was revealed. This view continued as he started taking them down and backwards. Finally, he brought the ship down and forward to their original starting point beside the Ancient warship. From the sounds he heard, the ladies enjoyed it.

"Do it again!" Mila piped up from behind him.

"Yes, Colonel Sheppard, please," Katana said.

John looked over to Larrin. "You want to?" When she just batted her eyes at him he called out, "Okay, hold on." John repeated the round several times. He deliberately took it slow, realizing that this was probably the first time that Mila and Katana ever felt g-forces. Judging by the giggles and laughter, all the ladies were really enjoying themselves. Then he stopped just after the top of the circle coming down. "You know what is as much fun as going backward? It's going forward!" John started taking Jumper in to opposite direction. After the first rotation, he tilted the nose down just slightly. Doing this really added to the effect that they were about to hit the _Tria_ on their way down and backwards. The first couple times the ladies screamed at him, but, by the third time, they just hung on and enjoyed the ride. Upon completing the tenth time around and down, Sheppard brought the little ship to a total stop. "That," he started resetting the controls back to normal, "is as close as I could give to a Ferris wheel ride."

The youngest lady found her voice first. "That was fun!" Mila's face reflected her words. The inside of the Jumper got a little noisy as the ladies tried to talk over one another. Whether it was to thank him for the ride, confirm with each other how it felt in their stomachs, or how they thought that they were gonna hit the other ship, John couldn't get a word in edge wise. Instead of fighting his way into the conversation, Sheppard just put a triumphant smile on his face and piloted to his ship back into bay three.

Once the Jumper touched down in the bay, the ladies let up for a moment. "Well, I'm glad you all enjoyed it."

Katana and Mila thanked him again and went off toward the Mess Hall before him and Larrin. "Thank you so much, John. That was incredible." Larrin's smile reached her eyes.

John dropped his arms behind her back, pulling her closer to him. "My pleasure." She kissed him before he could pursue that line first. Several moments later after she pulled back, he commented. "You know, you read my mind pretty well."

She laughed at him. "As if your mind is a hard read."

"Yeah, well, apparently I can do some complicated things." John let loose with one arm and steered them to follow the other two.

"Oh?" He loved it when she toyed with him.

"You don't want to know how much concentration it took to pull that Ferris wheel off. I thought I was gonna hit your new ship several times as I practiced." He allowed a bit of seriousness to come through.

"You better not have. You can be replaced." Her tone playfully serious.

"Oh, it that how it is? You would replace me with someone else if I had hit the ship I gave you? Just like that?" Sheppard played right back.

"Yep, just like that." She turned her face to look up at him, her grin in place.

John looked down into her eyes and watched them widen when he spoke. "Man, I can feel the love."


	12. Chapter 12

John stumbled his way down the corridor. He'd been up late spending time with his new favorite person. Larrin hadn't been in a rush to call it a night, talking his ear off until the wee hours of the morning. As he rounded the corner to go into the Mess Hall, he saw her leaning up against the wall, looking very much like he felt. Smiling, he walked straight into her waiting arms. After embracing her for about a minute, he leaned back to look into her sleepy eyes. "Good morning."

With her eyes turning playful, she grunted at him. "And what's so _good_ about it?"

"Oh, that's simple." He watched as she raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm here!" Sheppard placed a confident smile on his face.

Laughing at him, he let her push him toward the Mess Hall door. "Smarty. Let's eat."

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" He tried to help Larrin get her mind going.

After she sat down with her tray of food, she looked up at him as he did the same. "Well, today begins the actual reconstruction of the hyperdrive. This is going to be long, boring work for both crews. In truth, there's not enough room for everyone even with carrying the parts back from the bay." She started eating.

John ate a few bites, thinking about how to fix this long problem. _What could we do. . .?_ "I have an idea." Looking at her, Larrin responded by looking back into his eyes and taking another bite. "How about we take a crew to Auxiliary Control and see if there's anything we can work on? That way Mila, with Katana and her crew, can stay focused on the drive while we take care of everything else."

A thoughtful grin materialized on her face. "That's not a bad idea."

"Also, do you need helping getting another adapter online?"

"We still have the plans from the first one, but I think I'm waking up enough to catch up to you. I could have the scientists observe you as you operate the Ancient tech. They could also get a fresh sample of your blood, if you'll let them?" Her body straightened, giving evidence that she was waking.

"That's why I brought it up." Nodding over his shoulder, "You want to tell them now?"

Larrin waved her hand in the air. "I'm still not awake. I'll tell them in the briefing of today's events in bay three."

John smiled and nodded to her. _I hope I didn't just get us into something that we can't get out of._

;-)

Larrin watched as John tried to cooperate with her scientists as they observed the way his body interacted with the Ancient terminals he activated. She smiled. _He should've kept his mouth shut._ Sheppard was doing his best to work through all the systems looking for any other damage that needed to be repaired. What would normally take just a few moments had already taken the better part of an hour.

Shaking her head at his latest comment to one of her men, Larrin turned to read the screen she was closest to. It seemed to be an auxiliary literary back up, specifically the crew logs. She scanned through the files until one log in particular stood out. "Helia, Captain of the _Tria_." Looking back to John, whose back was toward her as he yelled at her scientists again, an idea formed within her. _I know he has a working knowledge of the Lantean language. I wonder if he can read it._

Placing that thought to the side, she turned around. It was time to add to the pain in her man's side. _My man. There's something strange about that._ With a mischievous grin, she called out to Sheppard. "So, have you found anything yet?"

He turned and glared at her. "The next time I have a hair-brained idea like this, shoot me!"

Larrin giggled and patted her leg holster. "That can be arranged." She let her face light into a full smile.

After a few seconds, the seriousness in his face lessened as he grinned back at her. Before he turned his back to her, she could swear he mumbled, "Tease." Larrin allowed him the victory of the last word for the moment. He was helping her and her people further by getting this new adapter online, after all.

After another hour, though, and she was ready for them to be gone. "Okay, why don't we give Colonel Sheppard a break and attend to those repairs that he has identified."

"Thank you!" John turned to face her as the room emptied. "I hope they've gotten enough live data." He rubbed the place on his arm where one of the scientists drew some of his blood earlier. "I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"I'm sure it will be enough." Larrin used her reassuring voice. Taking a few steps to close the gap between them, she reached up with one hand to play with the hair behind his ear. "And I really am grateful for your help." She waited on him to respond before pushing in any further. Not having to wait that long, she got her wish as John leaned down to gently kiss her.

When he leaned back out of it, he looked directly into her eyes and asked. "What's next?"

Looping her arm around his, she drug him toward the terminal she'd been standing at. "Come over here. I want you to see something." When they were standing in front of it her curiosity came out. "Can you read it?"

John stared at the screen for a few seconds before he looked back to her. She noticed the question in his eyes. "No. They appear to be a collection of Ancient files, though."

Getting the answer to her thought an hour ago, Larrin smiled. "They're the crew logs. This one is from the ship's former captain."

John's face lit with curiosity and excitement. Pointing to the one she was pointing to, he exclaimed. "That's Helia's, really?"

She nodded as she continued to smile. "Ah-huh."

"Can you read it?"

"Yes, I can."

Sheppard pushed her. "So, are you going to read it?"

Larrin looked him dead in the eye. "No, I'm going to teach you so you can read it."

She watched as John's face turned from curiosity to confusion. "Why do that when you can read it to me?"

"Because I can't teach you my language inside two weeks and you can't teach me yours in that time either." His face released as the realization of what she was offering hit him. "You, obviously, already have a working knowledge of the Lantean language. I would like to help you refine it so that I may send you a note from time to time and not have to worry if you can read it." It seemed like the only thing she could give him at the moment.

She observed as he glanced back and forth from her, to the screen, and back again. With a thoughtful grin on his face he said, "Okay."

;-)

John turned out the lights in his room and settled into his bed. His brain hurt. It had been nearly two weeks since Larrin offered to start teaching him how to read Lantean, and he was starting to become familiar with it. Well, at least with some of the more basic words.

Helia's log was a tough read. Larrin started them out just after the ship's last battle with the two Wraith cruisers, and they worked their way forward toward the last entry. Helia covered everything in her logs, from damage reports to crew conditions and even secret rendezvous with different men within her crew. Sheppard had paid particular attention to Larrin's face when they read those entries, seeing the similarities in the two women. If Larrin ever identified with the former captain, she never let it out.

Mila and the repair crews were nearly done with all the hyperdrive reconstruction. His time with Larrin was drawing to an end. His mind started playing back through different points over the last month as he started drifting. He was almost asleep when the "battle stations" alarm went off.

Dressing quickly, John rushed through the corridors to the Bridge, finding Larrin already there, communicating with the Travelers ships. "What's going on?"

"It's the Wraith!" Larrin's face reflected both confusion and hatred.

"When did they get here and how far out are they?" he asked as he made his way to her side.

"We detected their hyperspace window just a few minutes ago, and they are barely inside our sensor range." Larrin squinted at the screen as she zoomed in on what was definitely a Hive. "Looks like they haven't noticed us. We must be just barely outside their sensor range."

"That's all fine and good, but I have only one question. . . ." John let it trail off knowing she would pick it up.

"If they're not looking for us, what are they doing out here?" Larrin spoke the obvious.

John moved to the view port to see if he could get an idea when his eyes focused on the answer in front of them. "They're headed for _my_ galaxy. They're headed for _Earth."_ John's eye's widened in terror.


	13. Chapter 13

"I don't understand," Larrin looked back to John, who stood next to the captain's chair. "Why are they here, now?

John turned to stare at her. "They're in a hyperspace pause." When she gave him a confused look, he continued, "You see, Wraith ship hulls are organic, they cannot maintain their integrity for long periods of time in hyperspace. The Wraith have to drop out periodically to allow their hulls to regenerate. That, combined with their inferior hyperdrives, has resulted in them not venturing from the Pegasus galaxy before now."

"Okay, so why now?"

Sheppard tilted his head before answering. "There's a good chance that they started this journey about six months ago. About that time we were in direct conflict with a Super Hive, one that had been powered by a ZPM. In the course of the battle, they nearly destroyed us, and probably would have, had they not received a message through subspace about the location of Earth. We were able to pursue and defeat them, but not before they got to my home world. My best guess is that this Hive also received that message and have done everything in their power prepare their ship so they could get there."

Larrin regarded his statement before answering. "So, we're in the wrong place at the wrong time."

John shot her a glance that cut right through her. As she recovered, he spoke with passion and excitement in his eyes. "No, we happen to be in the exact right place at the right time!"

Confusion set in momentarily. "How's that?"

"Because, they don't know we are here!" He stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders. She couldn't help but feel the warmth that transferred, but the sensation got cut short when he continued, "If you have ever wondered what it is that you could do for me, this is it." His eyes were begging.

"We don't have enough people to crew all three ships properly. What battle strategy do you have in mind that could possibly make this an effective offensive?" Larrin couldn't believe that he'd suggest something so reckless.

"Simple, have your people's ships flip around and execute a brief hyperspace jump. Mila is already familiar with the particulars of it. While they do that, we bring this ship around and right at them at full speed. When your ships exit hyperspace, they immediately knock out the Wraith's hyperdrive and fly right by with their shields fully charged. The hive ship will only take a few pot shots at them until they realize that there's an Aurora class warship bearing down on them. At that point, they will target us with their main weapons and launch darts in an attempt to engage your other ships. By this point, your ships have come about and are lying in wait to destroy the darts as they come out of the bays, creating massive secondary and tertiary explosions within the bays. Once we are in range, we finish off the Hive with a round of drones." Sheppard's face read confident, but his eyes still questioned hers.

_He's right. If nothing else, we owe him and his people this much._ "Alright let's do it." She turned to the open comm screens to the Traveler ships.

"We don't have much time. Maybe another three hours tops." John informed her as her 2IC and Katana's face lit up the comm screen.

;-)

An hour later, John sat poised in the drone chair on board the _Tria_. The fleet was in position and ready when Larrin broadcasted her command to commence the attack. The two Traveler ships entered hyperspace as the spartan crew on the Bridge of the _Tria_ brought the sublight engines to full. From the chair, Sheppard kept holographic windows open so he could keep tabs on how the battle was faring. Two hyperspace windows opened in close proximity of the Hive and the two Traveler ships came out with all their weapons firing. From his seat, John saw that they were successful in knocking out the Hive's hyperdrive.

The Hive, in turn, started firing on the Travelers. One ship in particular seemed to be getting the worst end of it as a lucky shot from the Hive hit the rear shield emitters as they flew by. That shot was followed by two more that appeared to do considerable damage to the Traveler vessel. _I hope everyone over there is alright_.

After a few more bursts were fired at the other vessel, the Hive opened up on the _Tria._ Larrin broke in over the comm, "Sheppard, you going to answer that?"

Instead of answering her out loud, John reached out with his mind and grabbed the drones through his link with the chair. It was then that he discovered that there were only twenty five drones left. He also watched as the battered Traveler ship wasn't able to get into position, probably due to the battle damage it had incurred. The Hive launched Darts, and only one of its bays blew up as the other Traveler vessel destroyed them on their way out. Momentary doubt hit when he realized he needed more drones than he had. Sheppard quickly refocused. _It will have to be enough!_ With that, he fired every drone left and set out in his mind to sever the Hive in half. He observed as the drones he had began to impact with the Hive, come through on the other side, loop back to the top, and doing it all again until just a few remained. "Come on!" After a brief moment of desperation, the final drones caused enough destruction to send the Hive into convulsions that ended with its explosion.

The shock wave that came after took care of a large portion of the darts, but John watched as the rest formed up and started accelerating towards the _Tria._ "Sheppard?" Larrin's voice came through carrying more than a little concern.

John popped up out of the chair and ran as fast as he could towards bay three. "Their on a kamikaze run and I'm out of drones. I'm on my way to the Jumper now. Hopefully, I can get out of the bay and launch the drones I have before they impact with us."

"I hope so. There is no way we can survive this if you can't." Larrin's voice echoed through the corridors he ran through. "Impact in thirty seconds."

John pushed his body further. As he entered the bay, he heard Larrin's voice again. "Twenty five seconds." He nearly slide past the Jumper entrance, ran in, and hit the close button as he ran by. He touched the flight controls, hearing her voice again. "Twenty seconds." The Jumper was in the air and flying. Before he even got clear of the bay doors, John reached out with his mind and grabbed all twelve drones on board. "Fifteen." Clearing the bay, Sheppard left his palms on the controls while flicking all his fingers and both thumbs. The drones responded in kind and left the Jumper's weapon pods with a jump. "Ten." John brought up the HUD with a thought. Realizing instantly that he couldn't stop all the incoming Darts, he concentrated on those that would hit the forward section where the Bridge was. "Five." Darts started exploding as the drones he controlled reached their intended targets. He was still bringing his little ship into position to watch as the remaining Darts impacted. His heart dropped as he became aware of the fact that he didn't stop all that had targeted the Bridge section of the ship. "John! …." The comm went dead silent.

"Larrin? Larrin!" John observed that other areas of the ship started to unfavorably react to the impacting Darts. Not paying much attention to it, John maneuvered the Jumper back into the bay. "Larrin, can you hear me?" Once the Jumper was back down in bay three, John pushed himself as hard as he did before, running for the Bridge. "Larrin, do you copy?" He voice went from concern to desperate.

He continued trying to get a hold of her as he closed the gap to her last known location. _Come on, answer! There is no way you're gonna leave me like this!_

;-)

Larrin helped another of her crewmen up to their feet. The impacts of the Darts had been close, too close. The forward shields held, thanks to John's quick response, with only communications being knocked out. The impacts around the other parts of the ship had been more severe. Hyperdrive was back off line, as was sublight engines and life support. As she finished reading the damage report screen, the door to the Bridge opened and John came barreling through. She noticed that when his eyes found her that they lit with relief. He ran up to her and enveloped her in his arms. He held onto her for about a minute before he leaned back. "For a few minutes there, I thought I might have lost you. I saw..." Larrin put her hand open over his mouth to cut him off.

Trying to reach his relieved eyes with hers, she started, "We lost communications with the explosion that you witnessed, nothing more. The rest of the ship is pretty banged up, but we are here." She smiled in the hopes that it would disarm him some.

"I noticed that one of the other ships got pretty banged up as well." His face had lightened, but the battle was still too fresh.

"Yeah, I know. It's Katana's ship. She apologized for not being able to fulfill her portion of the mission due to the damage she incurred. I really don't know any more than that." She shrugged.

"Let me get back to the Jumper and see if I can make contact. If not, I'll go over there and see what's going on for you." Sheppard had already let her go and was heading for the door. As he left she found herself trying to focus on the immediate tasks.

;-)

"How many?" Larrin's tone was one of disbelief.

"Katana said that she lost three and that there were several more seriously injured. I am going to take the Jumper over, which has a well stocked medical kit on it, and see what I can do to help."

"Good idea, you should go!" John noted that her tone changed to anger.

Stepping closer, Sheppard reached out to touch her. "Hey, are you okay?"

Larrin pushed away his hand. "You need to get moving." Her tone was now cold.

Taking his cue, he left her on the Bridge. Realizing the she must be in shock after losing some of her people, John forced himself not to take offense to her last actions. Hopefully, she would be alright later.


	14. Chapter 14

Two days later, Larrin had barely said two sentences to John. It didn't take Rodney McKay to figure out that she blamed him for their losses. Even worse, she cut off all hopes of a relationship with him and went back to calling him Sheppard. Whenever he tried to help out with any of the repairs, she made it abundantly clear that the Travelers neither needed nor wanted his help. Furthermore, once the communications were back online, she made contact with the _Daedalus_, requesting an ETA so that John could join them. Frustrated by the whole thing, John finally got a hold of their mutual friend Katana, who'd been busy tending to her own repairs. She agreed to meet with him later that day. For now, he did as he'd done since he returned from Katana's ship: sat in his room waiting for Larrin to come by and talk to him.

_How could you throw us away so easily?_ John asked her in his mind as he'd done a hundred times in the last couple days. _I thought for sure we had it. That we had what it would take to make it. All that we'd built together in the last month couldn't survive our first fight with the Wraith? If we were this shallow, what were we doing all this time?_ He had run through the full gambit of emotions, from confusion to hurt, from hurt to anger, from anger to disappointment, and back again.

Looking at the time, Sheppard shook his head to try and clear it, got up, and made his way to bay three. Normally he would have checked in with Larrin to let her know that he was going, but seeing as how she was doing everything in her power to push him away, he didn't even bother. Once in the Jumper, he started his journey to Katana's ship.

As he passed through the space between vessels, John's thoughts took him back to the Ferris wheel ride that he'd worked on just for Larrin. Her face when she thought he was gonna hit her new ship and how it lit up upon seeing the Pegasus galaxy when the Jumper cleared the top of the _Tria_. Her laughter as she settled into the ride with the others and watching her as she experienced the "thrill of the ride". Her smile of appreciation afterward, along with the kiss. The waves on emotions hit him again. Before they got away from him, he tamped them back down. In a couple more minutes, he'd be on Katana's ship.

Landing in Katana's bay, Sheppard opened the back of his ship to find Katana there. She had a friendly smile on her face when she greeted him. "Colonel Sheppard, welcome back."

"Thank you for meeting me." John realized that he needed to go through the motions of the meet and greet.

"I'd say it's no problem, but that would be a lie. Things are still a little busy here."

_Great, John. Interrupt her from her real work._ "Sorry for the intrusion." John tried to look sincere.

Katana put her friendly smile back on. "It's an excuse to take a break. How are you doing?" Her concern seemed genuine.

"Physically, I'm fine." John left the rest unsaid. "How are your injured doing?" He really didn't want to get into the real reason why he asked to meet with her.

"They are doing as well as can be expected, Colonel. Your skills in field medicine helped out quite a bit."

"Good." John looked down, from side to side, biting his lower lip. "That's good."

"Colonel Sheppard, why don't you tell me the real reason why you are here?" It wasn't a question. As a matter of fact, he knew that to be the tone she used when she gave an order.

John squirmed. "It's Larrin."

"What about her?" He watched as Katana's face turned to concern.

"It's nothing bad. It's just..." John really didn't know how to phrase it without it sounding horrible.

"She blames you for what has happened to my men. In turn, she has ended your relationship and has all but pushed you out the nearest airlock. Does that sound about right?" Katana wasn't guessing, which meant this was either good or very bad.

Sheppard nodded and looked away, feeling a bit nervous and immature for even bringing it up.

"She already told me." Katana started slowly walking through her vessel's corridors. John fell into step behind her, listening for some insight. "You should know, she also blames herself for being such a push over that you could talk her into a battle where she lost three of my men."

John became aware that Katana might be feeling the same way as Larrin. "Do you feel the same way?"

"No." Katana spoke clearly with no hesitation. "The Wraith Hive ship got in a lucky shot that ultimately led to the deaths of my men, along with several injuries and extensive damage to two ships. But not one bit of that is—or was—your fault. You are an ally, one who was in need a couple of days ago. And we acted as any true ally should when you asked us for help. You even gave us a battle strategy that won the battle despite the luck of the Wraith. Without it, we would not have fared as well as we did." Her praise seemed to pour from her.

"So, you are not angry with me at all?" John still needed some clarification.

"Nope. We are at war with the Wraith. Most wars have casualties." John allowed himself a little relief upon hearing her words. Katana continued, "But, I'm also not in love with you." When John looked back to her with confusion written all over his face, he found Katana's all-knowing smile and eyes waiting for him.

"She loves me?" Sheppard showed his disbelief.

"As surely as you love her." Katana's face didn't even budge.

Accepting Katana's read on them, he asked the next obvious question."Well, if she loves me so much, why did she pushed me way?"

"Because she has irrationally rationalized that, due your companionship, her judgment has been compromised. Remember, she is the leader of our people first."

"But that's not true!" John realized after he said it how desperate he sounded.

"You know that. I know that. And somewhere deep down, she knows that. Give her some time, Colonel Sheppard. She'll come back around." Katana sounded more confident about that than he felt.

"Well, she's already made provision for that." John stated dryly.

"Oh?" Katana seemed very curious.

"Guess she didn't tell you everything. Once communications were back online, she called the _Daedalus_ to find out how much longer I'd be around."

Katana's face dropped. "I'm sorry. I hadn't realized she'd already gone that far."

"Yeah, well, Colonel Caldwell will probably be here soon. I need a favor, if I may impose on you." Sheppard hoped it wouldn't be that much of an imposition.

"What is it?" 

John let out a long breath. "I don't know when all this is going to let up with Larrin. I need you to contact me when you all get back to your home world and have made the funeral arrangements for your men. I should be there to pay my respects to their families."

Katana nodded to him. "No problem. I know their families will appreciate your presence there."

"Thank you. Now, I should probably let you get back to work. I need to get back and pack before my ride gets here." John moved to veer down the next corridor, back to the bay.

"Good luck, Colonel Sheppard. We will see you soon." Katana's voice carried through the corridor as John walked away.

;-)

The _Daedalus_ arrived later that day, and John tried to approach Larrin. His reward for his efforts included being chewed out by her and asked why he was still on board. He spent the next week-and-a-half either on the bunk that Caldwell had provided, in the Mess Hall, or in his Jumper in the 302 bay. It didn't matter where he went on the vessel. A memory of Larrin was there to haunt him. By the time they reached Atlantis, John was ready to focus on something else. _Maybe Ronon and Teyla will be up for some sparring._ When Sheppard parked the Jumper, he found his whole team, along with Mr. Woolsey, Captain Ford, and Doctors Keller and Beckett, waiting for him. He tried to put on his classic smile to cover up how he really felt. Mr. Woolsey was the first to welcome him back with a handshake. "So, was your mission successful?"

"Larrin and the Travelers now have possession of the _Tria._" John stated matter-of-factly.

"Well done." Richard must have sensed that he needed to be with his team. "I'll look forward to your report." With that, Mr. Woolsey went back to his office.

John spent the next couple hours fielding questions about his leave and all that stuff from his friends. With a little play on words, he was able to gloss over his whole relationship with Larrin as if it were a non-issue.

During the course of the conversation, the team brought him up to speed with their success turning Todd's Wraith alliance into hybrids. It came at a high cost for Teyla, though. Kanaan died during the course of events. Sheppard hated that he hadn't been here for her, especially in light on how his leave ended. She forgave him, of course, but it only served to add to the emotional baggage he already carried.

After the initial reunion, John put enough of the emotions of the last two months behind him to focus on the tasks at hand back on Atlantis.


	15. Chapter 15

Ronon successfully dodged and blocked an incoming barrage of blows from Sheppard's bokken. John had already caught him by surprise more than once. Ronon had even commented to Teyla and Rodney, who were also in the room, about their Team Leader's improved focus. John tried not to gloat about it. In truth, he just used all the bottled up energy surrounding his and Larrin's former relationship to fuel his fighting techniques. _Well, at least something good came from it._ Ronon answered Sheppard's thought with a feint and a quick strike to his shoulder. "Ow!" _Or not!_

Ronon roared in triumph. "Finally."

"Nicely executed." John heard Teyla's praise for Ronon's hit.

Ronon nodded to Sheppard, and he returned the gesture. The two left the center of the mat for a break, and John took in his surroundings. He'd asked his team to join him down here in the Gym everyday when they weren't off world for the last week. Ronon agreed happily, but Rodney had fussed about the time he should be in his lab, turning up another ground breaking discovery. Sheppard conceded enough that McKay could bring a couple of laptops and a PAD with him as long as he locked down the Gym from the rest of Atlantis, including communications. Teyla also had a condition. Torren played in the furthest corner away from the mat. John noticed that Rodney kept a watchful on the little guy as he worked to make sure he didn't get too close to the swinging sticks. He knew that Teyla needed her son close during this time and couldn't agree more. He liked having his name sake around as well. He called the whole idea "Team Building Retreats." The real reason was that he just needed to be with his team—his family—so he could refocus.

A loud repeated banging from the Gym door pulled him from his reverie. Nodding to McKay, John watched as the door opened to reveal one pissed off Mr. Woolsey. "Why was this door locked, and why are you not responding to either radio or internal communications?"

Sheppard tried to look sheepish. "That would be my fault. I just wanted uninterrupted time with my team."

Ronon piped up from across the room. "And we thought it was a good idea."

"I've been trying to get a hold of anyone of you for the last ten minutes." When John and the rest of the team looked up to pay attention to Richard, he continued, turning to look directly at John. "Katana from the Travelers is trying to contact you."

"Okay, I'll go see what she wants. If it is what I think it is, I'm going to need your approval to go off world to attend those funerals I already informed you of." John stood, ready to head out of the Gym.

Mr. Woolsey put a thoughtful grin on his face. "Permission granted." He turned to go and yelled over his shoulder, "And the next time I come to this door, it had better open for me."

"Thanks for that." Rodney glared at John on his way out. John didn't pay him any attention, though he did notice that Ronon and Teyla were about to start sparring.

A few minutes later, Colonel Sheppard stood by Chuck's desk. "Dial the Travelers' settlement and open a channel"

"Aye, Sir."

When the gate finished dialing and the connection was made, Chuck touched another series of buttons and nodded to John. "This is Colonel Sheppard of Atlantis returning Katana's call."

Katana's face appeared on the view screen. "Colonel Sheppard. I just thought you'd like to know that those funeral proceedings are scheduled for this afternoon."

"Thank you. I'll be there. Sheppard out." Chuck deactivated the gate as John turned around to talk to Richard.

Mr. Woolsey started, "I should probably go with you to express my condolences and appreciation concerning the whole affair." John nodded, knowing that Richard was right. "Also, I'd like to give them a code transmitter with an IDC since we are forging on into stronger allies."

"I agree. Teldy should be able to handle Atlantis 'til we get back." John moved toward the back door of Richard's office.

"Very, well, Colonel. I'll meet you back here in one hour." Sheppard nodded as he walked away, but he didn't look back.

;-)

"What is he doing here?" Larrin leaned down to whisper to Katana. The Traveler settlement's population was gathered in "town square," preparing for the ceremony. While Larrin had to be there as her people's leader, Katana would actually be officiating as she was the honored dead's Commander. In a time set aside to remember their lives and pay tribute to their families, her mind clearly saw John as an intruder.

"He asked me to notify him so he could attend. As the Ship's Commander of the fallen, it is _my_ right to allow whomever I choose to this ceremony," Katana said. Larrin noted the defiant tone of her friend as she addressed her.

"Why would you allow this?" She allowed a confused tone into her words.

Katana looked dead into her eyes. "Because, Commander, as the one who is the most responsible for us being here today to have this ceremony, Colonel Sheppard, a military man himself, has _every_ right to express his condolences to the widows and children of the fallen. There is no way I'm going to deny him that, even if you are foolish enough to hold him accountable for their deaths." Katana stepped away from her, letting Larrin stew over her words.

The words hurt, like they had smashed their way through the walls of her heart to where the real problem hid. After a few moments of contemplation, Larrin moved to stand with Katana on the platform. As she looked up, she found that John now stood on the opposite side of Katana, by her request. Larrin realized at that moment how much respect her subordinate had for the man, as this honor was rarely given and had never been done for someone outside of her people. _Why is she seeing things so different than me? Am I missing something?_ Larrin moved to stand in her position, signaling that she was ready to start the ceremony.

The ceremony began with the sounding of the "battle stations" alarm going off from Katana's ship behind them. With her body facing mostly forward and slightly to the middle, Larrin watched as Sheppard startled from his stance, looking for the danger. As she continued to watch, she saw when he realized that it was all part of the ceremony. Katana started to call out for the fallen crewmen, asking for their location and why they weren't at their posts. Her words so moving that everyone gathered shifted a bit uncomfortably and a few started crying. Larrin noticed that John squirmed only in his hands. Katana began her speech to the families of each of the fallen, and Sheppard's features sharpened. His posture was upright with his chin up and level, shoulders back, arms straight down his sides, hands cupped with his thumbs resting on the seams of his pants, and his feet were together at the heel. Add in this new uniform that was apparently used to show how decorated of a military officer he was, and she could only think of one word for him. _Solid_. His eyes faced forward the entire time, never wavering or trying to catch a glimpse of something else. She was supposed to be paying attention herself but found it hard to concentrate with the man, who so adored her a few weeks ago, standing so close.

Larrin almost missed her cue when Katana called for the first widow to come up the platform. Each one was to receive the "Medal of the Fallen," standing in the place of their late husbands. She handed the medals to the widows as Katana declared to whom each one was given. Then Katana, as their former Ship's Commander, got the opportunity to express her respects and condolences first, with Larrin, as their Leader, following her.

_What is he doing?_ Another shock came when John stepped behind and around her so that he could also express his condolences. She shot Katana a look who simply nodded. As she was Ship's Commander, Larrin had no choice but to allow Sheppard the opportunity with each widow. Larrin noticed that every one, without exception, reached out and John allowed them a small hug. She could tell that these small gestures made him a bit uncomfortable, but he didn't refuse a single one of them.

Once the medals were given, Katana wrapped up the rest of the ceremony in short order. The town square emptied briefly as it converted to allow for an informal gathering. This allowed the people the opportunity to individually express their respects to each of the families. The crowd was fairly fluid. Larrin stood off and watched as Sheppard took time for each of the children of the honored. He would get down, despite the fact that his uniformed knee got dirty, so he could be at the same level as the younger ones. All the widows had babes that were within a year old, as the population controls had been lifted from her people, and as they would allow him, John took the little ones in his arms for a while. As he made his rounds with the families, Mr. Woolsey approached her.

"I wanted to give you this." He handed her something that looked like a remote control. "Its a transmitter. Whenever you wish to contact us, for any reason, after you've established a connection, push the buttons to correlate with these numbers." Mr. Woolsey handed her a piece of paper. "We'll know it's you and allow you access onto Atlantis."

"Thank you, Mr. Woolsey." Larrin tried to put on an appreciative look.

"Just, please be careful with who you trust with it. We've been known to have troubles with these falling into the wrong hands."

"Will do. Not to worry. We'll be in better contact from now on." Larrin wasn't sure of the validity of that statement as it left her lips.

"I'm sure you will. Good day, Commander." Mr. Woolsey turned around and went to join Sheppard. After a moment to confer, the two left town square heading for the stargate.

As was getting to be a habit for her, Katana startled her as she watched the men disappear. "So, you going to go after him or what?"

Annoyed, she turned to her friend. "Why would I do that?"

Katana's face sobered. "You are a fool."

Larrin became angry. This was the second time Katana called her such. "Excuse me!"

"Oh! I'm sorry." Katana went out of her way to dramatize the whole thing. "Commander, you are a fool." Larrin's eyes got so hot that she thought she might burn a whole right through her. When Katana saw that she wasn't going to answer her, she continued. "You know good and well that if Colonel Sheppard had approached you two months ago, before you two ever started your companionship, and asked for your assistance in destroying a Wraith hive ship before it could get to his home world, you wouldn't have batted an eye about any losses we may have incurred. Even if it meant that you lost all the ships you committed to the task. Why? Because we are at war with the Wraith, just as he is, and he is a true ally."

Larrin squirmed under Katana's chastisement. Katana didn't stop. "This notion that he is in any way responsible for the deaths of _my _men is more than ridiculous. It's just one more way for you to excuse the fact that you really don't want to be happy, _ever_. Well, congratulations, Commander, you've succeeded, because the one man in two galaxies that could make you happy just walked out."

A switch in Larrin's heart was thrown by her subordinate's words. As she stood there absorbing everything said, her friend took a couple of steps away from her, stopped, and turned far enough around so Larrin could see a thoughtful grin on Katana's face before casually tossing a suggestion towards her. "I wonder if they've made it to the gate yet?"

Something started Larrin in motion from the inside. As she passed her subordinate she whispered to herself, "John. . . ."


	16. Chapter 16

Larrin ran through her old ship, trying to get to Sheppard before he and Mr. Woolsey stepped through the gate. As she ran out the other side, she made out two forms moving towards an open portal. "John, wait!" she yelled just as the two stepped into the portal and it shut down, her words echoing off the vessel. Her head and heart dropped. As she looked down she remembered what is was that she held in her hands. Looking up at the stargate in the distance she thought to herself, _Not again!_

Larrin spun on her heels to find her nosy friend standing there with her all-knowing grin on her face. "So, do I see a 'diplomatic mission' to Atlantis in your near future? Maybe one in which an embassy for our people might be negotiated?"

Larrin put only a thoughtful grin on her face for Katana's benefit, though inside she truly loved the idea. "Yeah, I think you do." Her mind began to race on how she might present such a thing. Needing some help figuring it out, she looked to her friend. "So, how do we go about this?"

;-)

_Did I just hear my name?_ Colonel Sheppard stepped though the gate in Atlantis and thought he might be going crazy. "Did you hear something?" He turned to regard his traveling companion as the gate shut down.

Mr. Woolsey had an uncertain look about him. "I'm not sure. Did you?"

"I don't know," John confessed. "I guess not. Good night. I'll see you at the morning briefing."

Richard echoed John's sentiment as the two parted company.

;-)

Woolsey's image filled the view screen in the Comm Center at the Traveler settlement. He didn't look surprised to get a call from Larrin and her people the day after the funerals. The pleasantries out of the way, Larrin decided to address the real reason why she called. "Mr. Woolsey, I would like the opportunity, if you are in agreement, to officially discuss the possibility of an embassy of my people there on Atlantis."

He appeared to think about the suggestion for a while before answering. "That is quite the request. I'm going to need to bring it to my superiors before I can pursue it any further. Officially, that is."

"Oh." Larrin tried not to show her disappointment that she was going to have to wait to see John until Mr. Woolsey heard back from his superiors.

"So, is there an _unofficial_ reason you'd like to come to Atlantis?" Even through the view screen, the way his head angled to look through the top of his glasses told her that he read her like a report on his desk.

"Well, I would have liked the opportunity to discuss some things with Colonel Sheppard as well." Guessing that he knew more than he'd let on, Larrin elected to tell Woolsey the truth. _He must really think I am pathetic for being the leader of my people._

"I see. The shield is down if you'd like to step through. I'm pretty sure his schedule could accommodate you as he is not due to go off world for another two days." This Woolsey character either knew way too much or was way too perceptive. Either way, Larrin couldn't back down now.

"I need to make arrangements for my people before I can take you up on that. Would I be welcomed in about an hour?" Larrin bit back the urge to allow the desperation within her out.

"One hour it is. Atlantis out." The gate shut down moments later and Larrin left the Comm Center with new purpose in her heart.

;-)

John ducked to avoid a double blow coming from Teyla's bantos sticks. The team consented to another "Team Building Retreat," and it was now their turn in the ring together. Again, the "padawan learner" received praise from his "master" as Teyla also noted Sheppard's marked improvement. Reading her movement, John saw that she was about to launch into a full offensive when the door behind him opened. He seemed to sense Larrin, but he wasn't sure until Teyla's eye's widened as she caught sight of the figure. Taking the opportunity to repay her for the same move she made on him also four months earlier, John playfully slapped one of his sticks across her forehead. He watched as Teyla put her wide smile on for his benefit. "Well done."

"You're not going to take that from him on my account, are you?" Larrin's mischievous tone echoed off the Gym walls. From where he stood, John saw Ronon's face light into a genuine smile as Rodney started shaking his head in disgust. Apparently sensing the match was over, Teyla stepped closer, dropped her sticks to her sides, and gently bowed her head.

When John had done the same so that their foreheads touched and they'd "shared a breath" in typical Athosian custom, Teyla whispered to him, "Trust your heart." She then turned to look directly at Larrin, and he noticed the serious edge in her tone. "Tread softly, my friend. You are on sacred ground." John grinned internally at Teyla's warning to Larrin as his friend picked up her son and motioned for Rodney to leave with her.

Rodney rolled his eyes and fussed on his way out. "Fine, all this seclusion was starting to get on my nerves anyway."

Ronon looked back and forth between Sheppard and Larrin before he started. "You know, I'm supposed to meet Amelia for lunch. I'll catch up to you later." Not waiting for his friend's reply, Ronon made his way out of the Gym.

"Thanks, Chewy," John called out after him. Grabbing his outer uniform shirt and putting it on, he turned to regard this woman that had interrupted this retreat. "So, what can I do for you, _Commander_?" _You're gonna have to earn it this time._

;-)

Larrin closed her eyes and forced her self to swallow that one with a smile. _I deserved that._ "Actually, I'm here to officially inform you of a major violation." Larrin had worked on what she say to him all day, hoping that he'd play along.

"Oh?" She couldn't tell for sure, but it seemed as though he deliberately played dumb.

Deciding to go with it anyway, she continued, "Yeah. Believe it or not, I come to you with a full confession on how I blatantly violated Rule number one."

"Really? How's that possible?" His eyes toyed with her, but his voice was as steel. He refused to move quickly.

"It would seem, Colonel Sheppard, that I have blamed you for things that were beyond your control. To the point that there was a fourth casualty in the battle with the Wraith Hive ship that was attempting to get to your home world." _Come on John, give me something here._

"Ah," John started, "that would go a long way to explain what I've been feeling, and not feeling, from you over the last couple weeks. I have been noticing a bit of death surrounding this part of my body." He motioned with his hand over his heart, the pain both visible in his eyes and audible in his words.

Seeing and hearing him in pain, the one who chased her down across the galaxy just to give her a "token" that would dwarf all others in the history of the custom, the same one that showed her time and time again in the month that they shared together how much he thought of her, that same one who showed up on her home world to pay his respects when she clearly didn't want him around at that time, it was more than she could take. Tears almost rushed from her eyes unchecked. The truth was that she felt the same pain. "John, I am sorry." Larrin barely got the words out before she choked up completely. Ashamed and broken, she merely bowed her head and let the tears flow. _If I can't be honest before him now. . . ._

;-)

John stepped up to her and fully embraced her in his arms. Her emotions were so thick, it was like he could feel her inward struggle with his love for her. "Shh," he tried to sooth her as she continued to cry in his chest. He reached up and gently rubbed her back with his hand. "It's over. It's done. I forgive you." After a several minutes, Sheppard felt her wrap him with her arms as her tears stopped flowing. _It's okay, I'm not going anywhere. Except over to that bench._ Gently, he eased her over to the bench Ronon had occupied earlier, sat down, and pulled her into his lap. They wrapped each other back up and held on for another long while. When John realized that her breathing had become rhythmic, he gently whispered, "You didn't go to sleep, did ya?"

He felt her smile through his shirt. "No." She pushed herself back off him to look into his eyes. Looking into hers, he could almost touch her next words as they came out. "I love you." A couple more tears escaped her eyes, but they contained no more pain. A soft smile formed as she waited for his response.

John reached up with both hands and wiped away the drops of moisture that worked their way down her beautiful face. He couldn't help the words that escaped from his mouth as he did. "I love you, too."

;-)

She couldn't hardly believe her ears. Even though she said it first, to hear the verbal declaration of his love for her, after all she'd put him through, was more than her heart dared to fathom. She leaned in to press her lips to his and found the passion she'd missed coming through as he kissed her back. That passion between them had burned so hot, for so long, that time once again lost all meaning. _ I need you._ She straddled him and moved her hands so she could undo the top button of his outer shirt. As she moved her hands to the second button, John's hands quickly, yet gently, came in to stop hers as his lips broke contact. "Not here." Larrin almost felt let down until her heart and mind caught up to what he'd just said. _He didn't say "not now"._

Realizing that they were still in a very public place, Larrin played with him a bit. "Ah, but what about Rule number three?"

A mischievous smile formed on his face, though all she felt was love pouring out of him. "Well, looks like we're about to mutually break it, at least once." Biting her lower lip briefly, she leaned back in to kiss him as she moved her lower body to stand. Pulling him up with her, their lips stayed together until he stood up fully. Turning for the door, Sheppard led them to his room with his arm around her shoulders and her arm around the small of his back. His movements matched her own as both of them fought to contain the anticipation that had built, and was still building, between them. When they got inside his room, he locked the door and turned off the chime so they wouldn't be disturbed. What followed was not born out of mere lust or basic animal attraction, but from a passion that can only be found in pure, complete, love.


	17. Chapter 17

Larrin stirred from her place on Sheppard's floor. The first rays of the morning sun crept through the window, just enough to illuminate the inside of his room. Glancing around, she took in her surroundings. John lay next to her on what he called a "pallet," or floor bed. When they finally got to sleep last night, Larrin was sure that they could have slept on rocks, but now, she definitely wasn't comfortable. Shifting slowly as not to wake him, she turned to get a better look at him. She smiled when she glimpsed his face. He was smirking in his sleep. From somewhere within her, the place that had been void for so long, an emotion that she barely tapped into weeks ago rose up. She was happy even knowing she shouldn't stay any longer. _I could stay here with you forever if I didn't have responsibilities of my own._

Resolving to do the right thing by her people, she gently crawled out of bed. Locating her clothes that were scattered throughout John's tiny room, she set about the task of getting dressed, taking her time with each piece. She smiled again as she remembered the rush of passion that erupted between them that resulted in their clothes flying. _While I've not exactly known 'waiting', I must admit it was definitely worth it!_

When she got around to grabbing her top to put it on, a different memory came to mind. During one of their "breaks" last night, Sheppard had picked it up, looping its arm straps through his fingers. "You know, as a man, I must say that I enjoy how revealing this is of you. But now, as _your_ man, I'm not sure that I want to share that much of you with the rest of the men in this galaxy, or mine for that matter." Although the rest of the conversation had gotten lost in another burst of heated love, this one portion stood out to her.

After donning the garment, Larrin quietly walked to the bathroom mirror and regarded her image reflecting back. _He's right. It is very revealing_. She frowned. The decision to wear such clothes went all the way back to her training as her people's leader. They were used to inspire a form of "lust" in the ranks of the men under her and with it, a drive to succeed in her eyes, if only to gain her favor. Reflecting that she, now, fully accepted his token to her, she no longer needed the affections of other men. _Do I really need the attentions of all the men around me to lead them? Am I still that shallow?_

Shaking her head at herself, Larrin went back into the main portion of the room and spied John's outer shirt on his bed. Picking it up, she looked back to her lover on the floor. _I need to borrow this until I find new, less revealing clothes to wear_, she explained to him in her mind. Upon putting his shirt on and buttoning all but the top button, Larrin discerned very quickly that she didn't care for the material. _Well, at least I have someone in my life now that is selfish where I am concerned._

Smiling, she finished getting dressed. As she moved to strap on her weapon, a thought came to mind. After taking a few more moments to ponder her man, Larrin found his under shirt near her feet. Quickly and silently, she folded her weapon and holster into his shirt and secured it with a knot. Next, she located some blank parchment on the small desk in his room with a writing utensil. As she scribed a note in Ancient, she thought to herself, _I hope you remember how to read this._ Attaching the note to the bundle, she set the whole thing on her pillow and vacated Sheppard's room as quietly as she could muster.

As she entered the corridor outside John's room, she found that it teamed with life. She couldn't help but notice that every time someone passed her, that they stared with what she could only guess was bewilderment. After a few moments of awkwardness, she straightened herself and approached the closest onlooker. "Could you show me how to get to the stargate from here?" _And stop staring at me!_

Apparently she didn't do a very good job of covering what she thought, because the young man, wearing a similar shirt to the one she'd borrowed from John, snapped out of it. "Yes, Ma'am, and sorry. Please follow me." Larrin gladly did so, though she still noticed that everyone else looked strangely at her.

"Okay, I give up," she started looking at her guide, "why is everyone staring at me?" _This is very annoying._

The young man seemed hesitant to answer. "Ah, because you are wearing Colonel Sheppard's uniform shirt." His tone reflected that she should have known that. Now she was embarrassed, though she tried not to show it with her forward look. After a couple more turns into busier corridors, Larrin was about to ask her guide to take her back. As she moved to do so, she caught a glimpse of the gate through the next archway above. _Can't go back now._ "There you are, Ma'am." He nodded to her.

"Thank you." She grinned politely as the young man walked back the way they came. Straightening herself, Larrin proceeded into the Gateroom and up the stairs into the Control Room. Her presence there caused a brief stir between the male and female technicians at the main interfaces, who exchanged knowing glances. As she pretended not to notice, she spotted that Woolsey character in an office across the catwalk from her. Needing a bit more assistance, and some cover, she made her way to him. "Good Morning, Mr. Woolsey."

He looked up and she saw the same look on his face as everyone else. "Good morning." He smiled. "I take it your talk with Colonel Sheppard went well?" Larrin could tell by the tone of his voice that he was making a statement, not asking a question.

Deciding to go with it, she smiled back. "Yes, thank you. But, now, I must return to my people. As a leader yourself, you must know that I have responsibilities that need attending to."

"Of course." Mr. Woolsey got up and gestured for her to go back through the door and over the catwalk. "You should know that I have made contact with my superiors concerning your request to establish an embassy here on Atlantis. I don't say that to get your hopes up though. They don't tend to move very fast on any decision."

"I see. I assume that means you will be contacting me as soon as you hear something?" Larrin allowed her formal voice to come out.

"Yes, as soon as I know something, you will." Woolsey looked to the man at the most prominent desk, who still wore a shocked look. "Dial the Travelers settlement, please, Chuck."

"Yes, sir." Larrin watched as Chuck activated the tiles that coincided with the symbols to her world from memory. _That didn't take long._ Impressed, she made her way down and through the gate when the vortex was established, not taking the time to look back or say good bye.

Stepping onto the soil of her home world, she remembered that she hadn't notified them that she was coming about the same time her security forces drew down on her. She raised her hands instinctively. "Whoa, it's me." _That was smart, Larrin._

"Sorry, Commander. We weren't expecting you without a call." The security team leader stood down from the fighting position he'd taken. She noted the quizzical look on his face as he looked down to the shirt she wore.

"That's alright. You and your men did very well. Carry on." Larrin tried to be dismissive as she walked toward her old ship.

"Thank you, Commander!" he called out after her. It was then that she realized that even though she wasn't wearing her normal outer clothes, she still had the respect of her people. Confidence took embarrassment's place as she stood a little taller and allowed the happiness that bubbled within her to be reflected in her face. She nodded her acknowledgments as she passed through her old ship heading towards Katana's. Now that she was becoming comfortable with the whole thing, she needed to talk with her friend about it and find out how her people were doing today. As she entered Katana's ship, John's face entered into her mind again.

Smiling as she thought to him and their evening together, Larrin wandered through the corridors of Katana's ship. After looking all over the ship, she nearly gave up and called the Comm Center when Katana rounded the upcoming corner and nearly ran into her. "Wow! Sorry, Commander. I wasn't paying attention."

Larrin laughed at her friend and subordinate. "It's okay. Is everything alright?" Katana looked a bit preoccupied.

"As good as can be expected when training new members of your. . . ." Katana noticed the she was wearing Colonel Sheppard's shirt. Larrin watched as Katana reached out to touch the sleeve before she finished her thought. ". . . .crew. Say, don't you look good wearing his shirt." Katana's eyes returned to their all-knowing state, as well as smile. She looked her up and down before she continued, "And your weapon is missing. Hmm."

The smile that came forth automatically didn't come out haughty, but rather confident with a touch of smitten. _I can try and duck this, and let her call me on it as she sees right through me, or. . . ._ "I snagged John's shirt as I got dressed this morning. He doesn't like the thought of sharing me. As for my weapon. . . ." Larrin trailed off and bit her bottom lip, knowing Katana would catch on quickly.

"You didn't!" When Larrin nodded, she started again, "Does he know the real meaning behind it?"

Larrin released her lip. "He should by now." _That is if he's awake and has read the note._

Her friend's excitement gushed out of her. "And he accepted it?"

Larrin shrugged. "I don't know. I hope so."

A questioning look came across Katana's face. "What do you mean by, 'I hope so'?"

"Let's just say that when I left it with him, he was still sleeping." Larrin could not help the cheesy grin that covered her face as her own joy spilled out. She watched as Katana's eyes and mouth widened. "What?"

"Nothing." Katana's face returned to its previous state.

Larrin tilted her head as she regarded her friend. "Seriously, what is it? You're not going to holding out on me now, after all your prodding? Are you?"

Katana looked her dead in the eyes before she started. "No. Its just wonderful and terribly exciting to see you truly happy." Her friend smiled at her.

Larrin smiled back. "Yeah, but now I need a new wardrobe." She attempted to sound put out.

Katana exaggerated her response. "_Oh, you poor baby!_" The pair walked and laughed their way through Katana's ship getting caught up.


	18. Chapter 18

The morning light came through John's window and pounded on his face for a while before he woke. It looked like another beautiful day in Atlantis. He turned on his side and remembered instantly that he'd made a pallet on the floor so that both he and Larrin didn't have to squeeze onto his little bed. Hunger set in almost immediately as they were never quite successful in leaving his room last night. She'd helped him with the finishing touches of their temporary floor bed at about oh-twenty-six-hundred or so, and both had crashed, being completely worn out. Trying to get his eyes to focus, Sheppard noticed a form on the pillow next to him. With a smile on his face, he reach to with his hand to touch it. "Good morning."

When his hand reached its destination, He found that the form was actually a folded cloth, probably his t-shirt, with a note attached to it. "Larrin?" After he got no response, he lazily got up and checked his bathroom. Upon not finding her there, he turned back to the main portion of his room. _You left without even saying 'goodbye'?_ Walking over to his bedside table, he picked up the earwig to his radio and activated it. "Control Room, this is Sheppard."

Amelia's voice came back in his ear. "Good ahead, Colonel."

"Have you seen Larrin of the Travelers this morning?" John hated to ask as he already knew the answer.

"Ah. . . ." The comm went silent for a second. ". . . .yes, sir. She left about an hour ago with Mr. Woolsey's permission."

"Oh. Thank you, Sergeant." John didn't wait for her acknowledgment before taking removing the earwig. "Well, let's see what you left me." He flopped back down on the pallet, crossed his legs, and pulled his folded t-shirt with attached note into his lap. As he did, he noticed that the shirt held something. _She left me a gift? This has to be a good thing._ Forcing himself to contain his excitement, he took the note and started examining it. It took his mind a few moments to register what he saw. She'd written the note in Ancient. Taking several more minutes, his mind started translating it.

_John, my love,_

_Actually, the custom is that you are to give that "one" person a token that he or she can wear at most, if not all, times. The reason for this is that once the token has been exchanged and accepted, they are now spoken for and that fact can be readily seen by all who look upon them. As far as your gift to me, I willingly, and gladly, make an exception and accept that I am, now, spoken for. Should you find this before I make it back into your arms, know that I love you._

_With all my heart,_

_Larrin_

Sheppard studied the note for a while, reading through it a few times before he set it aside and regarded the bundle in his lap. _What? You really gonna develop cold feet now, after everything?_ Shaking his head at himself, John undid the knot and unfolded his shirt to find Larrin's token for him inside. "Oh, heck, yeah!" His yell echoed so loud in his room, he thought for sure that anyone passing by heard him. He picked up Larrin's thigh holster, with her weapon still inside, off his lap. A well of boyish emotions flooded into his room as he removed her weapon and slowly started examining it. It was the same one that he got off of her two-and-a-half years ago when she first kidnapped him, the wear on the weapon identical. _Wow, time really is a cruel Mistress. We've come full circle._

John placed the weapon on his bed and rushed to get dressed for the day, not even caring that his outer uniform shirt from yesterday was missing. After his uniform was on, he reached down to the pallet and grabbed Larrin's holster. Envisioning her in his mind, he spoke to her as he slid his belt through the hip hole of the polished leather. "I accept your token and the fact that you have now spoken for me." After fastening his belt, he reached down to adjust and secure the thigh strap above his knee. _I wonder how the logistics of all this is gonna play out._ Once the strap was secure, the Colonel reached for her weapon on his bed. "Well, the way I see it, if Ronon can walk around with his on all the time, so can I." John confidently smiled to himself and slid the weapon into its holster. His stomach let out a huge growl to remind him that he hadn't eaten in over a day. "I know. I hear ya."

Before he left his room, Sheppard looked for something that he could give to her, a bit smaller than the _Tria,_ that she could wear as a token. Not find anything obvious on the different surfaces of his room, he started digging though his pockets and found an item that he knew that he carried, though he hadn't used it much lately. As he turned the guitar pick through his fingers, an idea came to him. He reached up to activate his earwig. "Sheppard to Teyla."

"Go ahead, Colonel Sheppard." She apparently thought he was calling on important matters.

"Have you eaten yet?" John impatiently waited for her answer as he headed for the door.

"The rest of the team and I have eaten already, but we are still here."

"Good, stay there. I'm on my way." Sheppard picked up the pace and made his way to the Mess Hall just in time to get one of the last trays of food before they cleaned up and started their preparations for lunch. He realized that he earned more than a few stares but assumed it was for the weapon on his thigh. Ignoring everyone else, he made his way to the team table. "Good morning, everybody," he said with a cheesy grin.

Everyone looked up at him, but they all had different reactions upon seeing him. "Good morning," Ronon returned dryly with a perceptive grin on his face.

Teyla looked from his face to his thigh and back to his face before she raised an eyebrow at him. "Good day to you."

Rodney started to roll his eyes in disgust but stopped when he noticed Larrin's weapon on his thigh as he sat down in front of him. "Hey, isn't that Whatshername's?"

John smiled at his friend's statement of the obvious. "Yes, it is."

"And she just gave it to you?"

John's smile got wider. "Yes, she did." _And you really don't have a clue why, do you?_

Rodney's face looked confused. "Why would she do that?"

Wanting to laugh, John just glanced over his next bite to Teyla. She caught it. "Congratulations, John!" Her face lit into a genuine smile.

Ronon's people must have used the same custom as he caught on right after her. "Yeah, congratulations, Buddy."

A victorious smile formed on Sheppard's face before he acknowledged them. "Thank you."

McKay had a look on his face that seemed to be a mix between confused and agitated. "Why are they congratulating you? What happened to you?" As he said it, a light bulb went off, and he sat back, flabbergasted. "Oh, of course. Kirk and another one of his conquests." He lightly slapped his hand on the table next to his tray.

"Actually," John started and waited for Rodney to glare at him before he continued, "this is but the beginning of Larrin's and my journey together." He sat up and started eating his food again.

"I don't understand." McKay's blank face seemed to confirm the validity of his statement.

Teyla leaned over and spoke even more clearly than usual so that Rodney might get it the first time. "Colonel John Sheppard of Atlantis has accepted Larrin of the Traveler's token and is openly displaying it. He is now spoken for as far as the rest of the Pegasus galaxy is concerned. In your terms, it is like being betrothed."

McKay shot him a glance. "Wow! That was kinda, quick don't you think?"

"Not really." John just smiled to fuel Rodney's confusion more. Turning to the other end of the table, "Teyla, do you remember that necklace I found for you in the cave all those years ago."

"The one that my father gave me? The same one that turned out to be a Wraith beacon?" It was Teyla's turn to look a bit confused.

"That would be the one. Do you think one of your people could make one like it with this as the center piece, and do it quickly?" John handed her the guitar pick. _Please say yes._

Teyla nodded, "I'm sure that can be arranged." Her all-knowing grin was back on her face. Then he watched as her face fell as the whole affair must have stirred up an old emotion.

"It's okay if you can't. I understand how this request must be affecting you." John mentally kicked himself for not being more sensitive toward her loss of Kanaan.

"No, it's alright," Teyla started, her countenance rising again. "It would be a honor to take care this for you."

Sheppard regarded his friend at the end of the table. Ronon gave Sheppard a small nod with his grin still on his face. _Guess he likes the idea, too._

"Would someone, please, fill in the rest of the class?" Rodney's annoyance reared its ugly head.

John smiled at his friend. _For a genius, how can you be that daft?_ "You see, Rodney, it's actually quite difficult for Larrin wear an Aurora class warship on or around any part of her body, even after she accepted it as my token for her."

Understanding washed over McKay's facial features. "But I though we, as in Atlantis and its supporters from Earth, were the ones to give it to the Travelers?"

"That's true, but as it was pointed out in the morning briefing just before I left, the whole thing was _my_ idea." The Colonel's confident smile was back.

"I see." Rodney's face contorted to something that read mischievous. "So, the way I understand it, until she accepts your token that can be worn, she still on the market, right?" His face changed as if he was feigning interest. Sheppard just shot him a look that told him not to go there as Teyla playfully slapped McKay on the arm. John knew that his friend really wasn't hurt when he burst out, "Ow!" The whole table shared a laugh that can only be found among true friends.

**The End**, _roll credits now._

;-)

Author's Note: Special thanks to my wife and beta, ladygris. Although she has her fingerprints on different parts of this story, I am the one who originally gave her the idea of the guitar pick. I'm merely taking it back to incorporate it in my story as well. Also I wish to thank all my faithful reviewers, your input has meant a great deal to me. To my faithful readers who haven't quite graduated into reviewers, there is no better time than the present, I'd enjoy hearing from each and everyone of you. As always, God bless each and everyone of you richly, Lithane...;-)


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